A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend is really distant and does not seem all loving and affectionate as she was before. She said that she loves being wined and dined and my financial situation does now allow for that now. I love her so much and would hate to lose her because of money! What do I do??Please help!!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2010): Thank you so much for this advice, I'm trying it tonight! Thank you all!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2010): Well the fact that she puts a lot of emphasis on being wined and dined points toward a materialistic superficial person. But lets for the sake of argument give her the benefit of the doubt and say that there is a way around this situation that does not include you getting suddenly richer. Let's think that maybe "wined and dined" could translate into "paid attention to" for her. In that case, anything you do to pay special attention to her can hopefully leave a similar impression on her about you. If she can understand that you don't have a lot of money, then instead give her more of your time. Time and money are equally valuable resources. For example,Maybe you cannot afford to send her to an expensive spa session. Instead give her a luxiourious massage with scented oils yourself! And if you cant afford dinner at expensive restaurant, cook for her like others said. If she cannot see and appreciate the effort you are putting, and still is distant due to lack of money, then you weren't meant to be. Don't try to win the heart of someone who can't see beyond your wallet. Do not dehumanize yourself like that.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2010): Think of things to do that are free or really low cost. A picnic in a lovely park or go somewhere with a great view. Find out if there are any free events you can attend - sometimes concerts can be free or visit a museum or gallery. Maybe throw a party and ask everyone to bring drinks and snacks to share out. Dig out some favourite DVDs and have a cosy night in - maybe a pampering massage? Get inventive around what you can do on a budget. The fact you are making an effort should then be what counts - not how much you are spending on it. I have a saying that some people 'know the cost of everything and the value of nothing'. Don't let that be your girlfriend. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2010): Can you prepare a meal at home for her? If your budget would stretch and you have the time perhaps suggest you cook to spoil her with a surprise meal once a week. Candles... a glass of wine.. I would be so delighted if a man went to that effort for me!! Its easy to just pay for someone else to cook - much more of a show of your love to take time to prepare something. I hope she appreciates you.
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