A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My gf split with me a few months back but now we see each other again. It's all unofficial so we not bf and gf as such, in name only. All of her friends knew we split but none of them know we seeing each other again, and thats how she wants it to stay. Our relationship is hidden from everyone and its begining to get to me. But she wont tell anyone about us, its either we do it like this or we dont do it at all. I dont want to loose her and she dont want to loose me but, she is prepared to loose me rather than tell anyone about us.Can you see a future for us? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (26 February 2009):
 To be honest I dont think you have any future if she continues to behave like this. Like Emilysanswers said, you dont give reasons as to why you broke up in the first place and this would help to help us all understand whats going on here.
But it sounds to me like she is just using you, I imagine you are sleeping together and spend most of your time indoors (and in bed!) seen as she wants to keep this a secret. I have been in this situation before with my ex and I ended up just telling everyone anyway, and he was ok with it for a while but still never wanted to be boyfriend/girlfriend again. I eventually realised he liked the company and the sex but that was it and I had to end it as it was hurting me too much to continue.
I suggest you put your own interests first here and lay it down on the line - either you are back together properly or go your seperate ways. If she still chooses to end this then it is clear how she feels and this should make it a little easier for you to move on.
I hope this helps!
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (26 February 2009):
Nope, it sounds like she doesn't want to be with you but she just hasn't quite been able to let go.
You don't give any details about the split up or why it happened and who it was that decided to end it. I think that probably would explain a lot if we knew that.
Either that it sounds like, whether she means to or not, she is stringing you along for what she can get rather than cutting contact and letting you move on.
Tell her that you want to be with her again properly and if she says no then tell her that you have to go away and cut contact for a while so you can move on.
Good Luck!! xx
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