A
male
age
,
*harlie sprocket
writes:I've been in a relationship for 20 years, my partners self esteem has hit an all time low, and she doesn't feel she can trust me. I've been working in a pub with a girl who I've got on really well with, I considered us to be friends but my partner thinks taht I was having an affair with her. She did drop hints to me but I was too stupid to pick up on her comments. I had a picture of my work colleague and left it at home, it was this picture that did the damage. I have now finished working with the girl in the pub, and I'm trying to stop my LT relationship finishing. Any suggestions on how I could start to build bridges and win back my ladys trust would be welcome.
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affair, self esteem Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2009): Okay... so why did you have a picture of your co-worker????? I dont think that you are being totally honest here and I think there is a lot more to this than meets the eye.
A
female
reader, wonderingcat +, writes (26 February 2009):
 I hope you are telling us the whole truth ;-)
I can't help thinking that your lady may have felt that you have been ignoring her while you were working in a pub, and that you have been talking a lot about her. In other words, you have treated your LT lady more like a room-mate or "best friend" rather than your lover. You know, like, coming back from work and you always told her your pub-colleague did this and did that kind of stories, with a glow on your face. If you did do that, no wonder she thought you had an affair with her. Or worse, you put her picture at home then not talk about that at all.
It could also be that perhaps to you she was a colleague, but to her, you were her love interest? Women pick up on these things pretty quick you know. Men perhaps not as much. Just like you stated, you did not pick up on your lady's hints for instance. Men could be so thick sometimes you know LOL
Anyways, in addition to grovelling and doing all kinds of nice things for your LT lady, perhaps you could invite your ex pub-colleague for a coffee with your lady and yourself? It would be better if she had a boy friend too that she could bring with her (not a rent-a-boy friend). That way your LT lady could see that the two of you were really just friends.
Still, you need to do a lot of make up time for your LT lady! Trust building is not a short road ... but a long one.
Cat
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