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male
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anonymous
writes: Me and my girlfriend have been together for a year now, and things are generally great. I really love her. She's much more sexually experienced than me and has had 10 times as many partners as I have. But, WAIT before you stop reading! This isn't the problem. Im actually O.K. with all of that, she slept with a lot of people to try everything, so that when she did meet the right person, she'd know AND not need to try anything else. You can see the logic in that, right? Looks like I am the special person and it makes me feel really wanted and loved. Most of the time.So the only part that bothers me is that sometimes I'll say something like a casual comment and she will freak out. Not because of what I said, but because it reminds her of the time one of her (many) ex boyfriends said the same thing. I know this is her problem and I should just ignore it, but it makes me think that a part of her is still thinking of her exes all the time.Also, a few months ago we were talking about sex and I casually mentioned that I know I'm no porn star (sorta like saying that my penis isn't so big, it's ok, tho pretty average) anyway to make me feel better she decided to tell me about the ex boyfriend she had with a massive penis and how it wasn't that great. Which I know was trying to make me feel better but really hasn't worked. In fact I have cried every day since because I keep thinking about some dude with a bigger penis than me fucking my girlfriend.You couldn't make this up could you!? Think I should break it off? I am going slowly insane thinking about it. Any advice you can give would help
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her ex, my penis, porn, sexual past Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2006): THANK YOU so much for the advice. i will talk with her and see what happens. i'll let you know on here the results! :) thank you!!
A
female
reader, lisa_01  +, writes (10 February 2006):
 she has no right to be bringing up anything about he ex relationships at all, you need to tell that you dont appricate it when she mentions anything about her past boyfriends or sexual experiences, dont worry your not the only one who deals with this problem its very common for ex partners to be mentioned while in a relationship with someone, but personally i think neither of you should talk about past relationships and that goes for any relationship, my bf told me about how great his sex was with his ex gf and how often they did it, it left me totally devisated and i didnt touch him for months because i didnt feel like i was any good. you just really need to sit her down and explain it makes you uncomfortable talking about it and you would prefer she didnt talk about them at all.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2006): I know what you mean. I once dated a girl who's had about 13 boyfriends and 3 or 4 flings in a period of 7.5 years. Mind you, I didn't break up with her for those reasons.
I can't really advise you what you should do, but the best thing I would do is confront her with my thoughts. Be sincere about it, even if it makes me look and feel weak. If she truly is the time to try to console you and care about your feelings, etc, then she may make an effort to try to stop talking about her ex's in that manner.
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female
reader, Listerning Angel +, writes (9 February 2006):
You need to try and forget about her past. I understand that is easier said than done, Because i feel like you sometimes about my partners ex's, i wonder if they were more into experimenting than me or if they felt better. I don't think you should end it with her, try talking to her about how it makes you feel perhaps she will then try to stop mentioning her past, she perhaps just doesn't realise how badly its effecting you. You just have to remember that its you she is with now and its you she comes home to not any of them. And i don't think you would have lasted a year if there was anything to be worried about in the bedroom. She must be satisfied with what you do her. I think you should just have a serious talk with her about how it makes you feel and then take it all from there
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