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My g/f is becoming distant

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 January 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 14 January 2009)
A male United States age 36-40, *hakeezy writes:

My girlfriend of 2 years her grandmother passed away this past friday. Since then I have told her I'm behind her for anything and I'm here to talk if she needs to. my girlfriend doesn't really like to share her emotions and feelings she deals with it by herself, she's been like this since I met her. Now she is becoming more and more distant like its only been a few days but it fells like I havn't talk to her or even text her in weeks and its killing me because I miss her so much. I mean I know what she's going through I know how it is, I have lost a lot of family members, my biggest issue is her being distant. Now is this a girl thing, I mean I know she needs time to grieve and time with her family, but her other family members are not taking it as much and they all had the same relationship with the grandmother that passed away. What can I do to break the distance, I love her so much and I know she loves me so much too, but the distance is killing me.

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A female reader, sweetheart03 United States +, writes (14 January 2009):

The best thing to do is give her space but at the same time let her know ur there by sending her a card something simple saying I know ur having hard times and I'm here for u when ur ready to talk. To bug her to talk cause u don't wanna push her away. Things will get better just don't call to much even if u send her a tex just say just thinking about u. She will feel that ur by her side. I just lost my grandma a few months ago so I felt like I needed space from my boyfriend only because I was so mad I didn't wanna take it out on him. And he kept telling me sweet things but I still took it out on him. I was mean only because what I felt inside. So I don't want that to happen to u. But if it does remember she is mad at the world not u.....so don't take it to the heart....ok. Good luck ill pray for her

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2009):

Every person reacts to loss a little bit differently....but with greif there are several stages that people have to go through and they can go from one to the next and back to the previous stage and so on and so forth depending on the person. I would not put any pressure on her or take it personally that she has grown distant or take the stance that this is killing you.

What I would do if I were in your shoes is express to her how sad you are that her grandmother passed and that you feel very sorry that she has to go through this alone. Let her know she does not have to do that, that you are there for her and if all she wants you to do is sit in silence with her, that you are willing to do that. Let her open up to you in all due time, just let her know that you love her and that you care....Give her time and things will be for the better.

I am sorry for her loss.

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