A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Ok. I've spent the last 3 years helping my friends when they have a problem, reasuring them and making them smile. I try my best. And when I'm upset I hope for someone to be there for me aswell. Lately all my friends are going through a hard time, including me. And it's all a problem with boys. Were only 14 aswell. Im finding it hard to help now cause they are all doing stupid things. The main two are my 2 main friends. One of them is talking to an older guy on the internet. I keep telling her to be carefull and that she shouldn't trust him too much cause he's too old for her. I mean, he's 27! Come on! Its scary. I keep losing my temper. And I have a strong temper. I feel so bad cause Im always helping them but Im not on her side and she hates me for it! Then theres my other friend who's going out with the most idiotic boy ever! Im really sensible when it comes to boys (even though I love a teacher. I know nothing can happen though so doesn't matter). Shes going out with a boy that treats her like a peice of rubbish. His friends laugh at her and insult her. Once one of his friends said "If you dont have sex with him soon, he's gonna dump you!" I mean, shes not a virgin, but shes still taking her time with him. And that upset her. Her boyfriend laughed. Hes upsetting her considerably. The other day he bunked off school! But not just that, he bunked off with another girl! He thought she didn't know about it either.Obviously shes looking at me for advice. My advice would easily be "dump the jerk!" but i say something like "Listen, you deserve much better than that. There plenty more fish in the sea". What do I get back "But I love him..." She said the other day "Thats it! Its over. Me and him. OVER" and I said "well done. Like I said. You deserve so much better =)" what happens next. She contacts me saying she gave him another chance. Its making me so angry! I want to shout at her that hes an idiot and all this stuff. But I cant. I dont want to hurt anyone.Please can someone tell me what I should say to them. I dont want to hurt anyones feelings with my anger =(
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionno..no..NO! I just found out that shes going out with the jerk AGAIN! Apparently on New Year he claimed he had "changed" and asked her out again. When she told me, all I said was "cool" and luckily it was over msn so she couldn't see my face which just looked absolutely horrified! How could she be so silly!
I mean, I told her to be careful in case he hurts her again, but can someone tell me why she would do that. I mean i know she loves him. But when someone treats you like that, how can you still love them? So yes, can someone please tell me how she must feel? Thanks :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the answers. My friend has dumped the jerk. But she is still in love with him and keeps crying. All her friends (not me cause i don't want to upset her more) say he's not worth crying over and she just gets angry. Im hoping that she will slowly get over it. I just keep inviting her out to places to get her mind off of him. Even though she spends most of the time ACTUALLY talking about him. I just listen though and nod here and there and say something about him.What she done was for the best. Thanks for everything! You helped me through this phase =)
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (20 December 2009):
 I hate to say this but here goes anyway "GOOD GIRL!"
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAbout the guy online. I've told my mum. I inform her about everything that happens. He lives far away so my mum says to leave it at the moment, but if he ever tries to come here I must tell her RIGHT away so we can tell her mum and and the police and stuff.About the jerk, I said my piece yes. And maybe I am trying to force it on her. But that's cause she keeps looking at me asking me the same thing. I mean, what does she WANT me to say. I hate him myself cause he hits me.Thank you Aunty BimBim for your advice. I think telling her that is a very good idea. I have said what I want to say. No need to repeat it. Im just gonna leave it to her to decide. And if she brings it up. Ill just listen to her. I don't want to give more advice. Im just going deeper.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (19 December 2009):
Okay, with your friend who is being "groomed" online, either tell her parents or a teacher or the police, let an adult sort it, its not something a 14 year old should be having to deal with.
As for the girl with the jerk, you have said your piece now its up to her, if she wants to discuss it again, just tell her you have already told her what you think, and then change the subject.
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