A
male
age
26-29,
*rpheous
writes:Ok. I am not attractive to girls not because of my appearence but because of the rest people. I will explain this. Many girls compliment me for my appearence and don't have a problem with my personality. However when I am around guys I know, these guys tell stuff for fun about me. I do too but not that much. When I went to vacation I knew noone so I thought it was a perfect timing for a test. I strode the beach once and found the most beautiful girl of my age(14 in 1 month). I went close to her and she complimented my hair. I started a conversation and I asked her out that same evening. We met and I made her my girlfriend. I haven't kissed so I said I wouldn't like to kiss for my first time a girl I don't really know so I just kissed her on the lips once(not mouth). She didn't complain etc. I left vacations bidding farewell. My test succeded, I wasn't the problem, but the stupid comments(you act gay, your hair looks gay[I have fairly long hair but in a normal way, they dont even reach my eyes]). When I ask a girl out while i'm in my hometown and she agrees I get comments like " Did you f*ck her?, did you touch her ass?" etc. from my friends when I pass by. All of the girls get annoyed by that(except one that I didn't like to go on because she wasn't annoyed, as I don't like a whore type of girls). What can I do? I'm not known for having a lot of girls like some of my friends, so when I tell them to stop it they just laugh. We're fairly good friends though. We share stuff. Please give me suggestions, I can't let that happen. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Orpheous +, writes (31 August 2011):
Orpheous is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo, you're right I never act like them towards girls, I respect them. As I understand the answer is ignore them. By the way, I can't stay out of them because I find girls at school, and they're always around. When we go out, I always find them there, they go out every day. My closest friend is someone mature enough not to do such things, but the rest of the company is the problem.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2011): Young men are notorious for bawdy behaviour and young girls know it too. Most young men experience this kind of ribbing and yet still manage to attract and keep girls. The problem, I suspect, is how you handle it.
I think you're afraid that girls will either believe them or assume you're just as bad. The last thing you should do is tell them how much it bothers you and ask them to stop because, as you have already discovered, that only invites more. Let it slide off your back. Once they see they get no reaction they'll get bored and give up.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2011): I can tell you right now that so many guys do not grow out of that behavior, or if they do it takes a long time. They are jerks but they always get girls for some reason.I say it is very good that you behave differently. It is better to respect women than to talk about them like objects. You're ahead of the curve. I think the first thing you need to do is get to know a girl outside of your friends. Let her get to know just you. But, I need to warn you that girls get upset with a guy's friends if they are disrespectful to her. You have to defend her honor to them. Don't just laugh or go along with it (which it sounds like you don't.) I'm hoping that since you are young you start to find friends who are more mature as you go. Really right now your relationships are just practice. Learning to be a good man and be respectful of women is the key. And learning to make friends with guys who are also respectful to women is a good idea.
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (30 August 2011):
 You need to adopt a close mouthed policy with your friends. Don't tell them anything about your dating life and then they wont have anything to rib you about. Girls will get to know that you don't "kiss" and tell so to speak. It's none of your friends business what you do away from their company and it is none of your business what they do.
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