A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So last September, my friends all went off to college while I stayed at my school to do my A-levels there. But since then, literally none have them have talked to me. At all. I understand that they've made new friends that they'll see pretty much every day, but it doesn't hurt to just send a simple 'hey' message. But it just seems to me like they're rubbing the fact that they've moved on from me in my face, without even doing it directly, if you know what I mean. It's like they post things online to taunt me about how happy they are with their new college/friends and most of them know how miserable I am at the minute. Because it's true, I do feel miserable. I feel like my life is heading literally no-where. It's not a good thing to admit when you're so young but that's honestly how I feel. I know I'm probably never going to get to university or do anything amazing with my life. But they all can and they seem to really be proud about the fact that they'll probably end up living amazing lives while I'm probably going to be left out in the cold. You may be wondering why I think so lowly of myself, it's because I'm doing horribly at school at the minute, it's too late in the game to have one final bash at picking up my grades and attitude. I'm not that physically appealing and all their new friends are really pretty and sweet. I'm really beginning to believe that I've just been holding them back from being the amazing people they are. So my question is, is it normal to feel so jealous of my friends?
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female
reader, AuntieZ +, writes (21 June 2015):
Unfortunately this is life. Friends move on and make new friends especially when they are split up. I know it seems harsh but you need to try and do the same.Unlike the other woman I don't think you have depression, I think you just miss your friends and are simply feeling down. Anyone would feel like this in your position.It must be terrible for you to see them moving on- but I've been there. As hard as it is you have to try to do the same and try to move on.There is nothing you can do about it. It is the best thing for you.Kind regards,AuntieZ
A
female
reader, Kendle +, writes (15 June 2015):
 Oh Sweetie! There are so many things I want to say to you but I will try and keep this short. First of all I do understand it must feel horrible for you to feel left behind but I don't think you are being entirely fair on your friends. Have you tried getting in touch with them? I highly doubt they are purposely posting things to rub their happiness in your face. If they are then they are not friends and not worth having anyway but I think it's far more likely that they are simply not thinking about you. I don't think it's fair of you to expect them not to post these things just because you are feeling miserable at the moment. You should try to be happy for your friends. Would it make you feel better to hear about how miserable they are and what a rubbish time they are having? If so, then you are not a true friend to them either. It works both ways. I think you really need to focus on yourself. Do you think perhaps you could be depressed? If so, you should seek help. I have suffered with depression myself so I know how dehabilitating it is and how it changes your perspective of everything. The truth is, most people prefer to surround themselves with happy, positive people as this is healthier for their own psychological health also. Whilst true friends will be there for you in your times of need, I don't think many teenagers have found these life-time friends yet and even true friends will struggle to support someone who is permanently miserable and who they feel unable to be happy around for fear of making them jealous. And yes, you are right, it's not good to feel this way when you are so young! And you don't need to waste these precious years feeling this way! You have youth which is enough to make anyone past the age of about 30 jealous! We all Lose our looks as we get older anyway! Does that mean that everyone who is old is miserable? No! Because looks are not that important when it comes to happiness. And it is definitely NOT too late in the game to work on your grades! People go back to college in their 40s and 50s after having spent years of their life in jobs that they hate! They would give anything to be able to make these changes at your age! Even if it takes you the next 10 years to sort your grades out and decide what you want to do in life, you will still have beaten them to it! And anyway, maybe you don't need good grades to do something amazing in your life! I'm speaking from experience here. Up until last year I was working as the Head of Department in a recruitment firm. It was a well paid job with a lot of responsibility and admittedly a lot of people were envious. However, I hated the work. It was very stressful and ultimately I decided it was not for me. As such, I (rather impulsively) quit my job, sold my apartment, broke up with my partner of 4 years and moved to Egypt. I now work in Animation earning the equivalent of £200 per month! But you know what? I love it and it's the best thing I ever did! I'm not saying you should give up everything too and move to Egypt. My point is simply that there is nothing to stop you from living your life to the full! The things you see as holding you are are not worthy of doing so.
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