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female
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anonymous
writes: calling alll agony aunts!!!!i need ur help drasticly. i've been with my bf for 2 years now he's 22 im 20.recently i found out that he has said to my best mate "would you sleep with me if i was single?"this happened about a week before my birthday. my bf said he was going to tell me but wanted to wait till after my birthday because he didn't want to ruin it, so my mate told me. surley if he didnt want to hurt me of ruin my birthday etc he wouldn't have done it at all???now apparently when it happened he was asking her advice about the problems we've been having lately, n she tried to turn things around to her problems. so as she wasn't helping him he decided to ask her this certain question to shock her or hurt her.he's a very intellegent person so surely he would be able to see that i would be the one to get hurt not her.now i know for a fact that he's told her he really likes he n she's sexy n she's funny n thats things are just soo shit between us at the moment, but on the other hand he says that he doesn't actually fancy her or hav efeelings for her. infact all he can do now is call her names.but surely he wouldn't have asked her if he didn't fancy her....would he?he does seem very apologetic about all of this, but now although i did say i would try and work things out with him im not sure i can, im not sure i want to.you see he is expecting me to forget about it all (right now) im not even allowed to mention it.is it worth staying with him just to risk gettin hurt?the convo was on msn n my mate sent me a copy of it so if anyone wants to see it to get an idea of what went on (if this is not enough) then please let me know.all advive appreciatedL xxps sorry its so long
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female
reader, bridget +, writes (11 March 2006):
 Hey there pet,
First of all, dont apologise for your problem being to long, This is an advice column and I am always happy to brighten up someones life or answer anyone's problems..
Ok It sounds as if you have already confronted him about this, so congratulate yourself, you are being the sensible one here, in all scenarios..
I do not think it is worth staying with him right now.. You should really allow yourself some breathing space and take time to think about what has happened to you both..
I could be wrong in saying that your friend is not really the one to be trusting here either as your boyfriend was asking her for advice, (which should be her number one priority in her situation), but instead she was asking him for advice..Excuse me if im wrong here, but arent best friends supposed to be asking each other for advice??
Breathing space in this situation is definately needed, otherwise you will drive yourself to the brink of depression wondering, and to wonder is not amicable in relationships, they are hard, they need work, and you dont need these two playing games with you..
So, take someone you really really trust and go away for a few days to enjoy yourself and think about things, refresh your memory..
Or
Take time and think about things. You said in you question that "your not sure if you can" continue this relationship, this means your not able right now to sort this out at this point in time..
You also said you are "not sure if you want to", this shows that youre not willing to take the time and continue this relationship..
I dont blame you, although I would strongly advise you to consider all options in the view and to always do what your heart tells you to, not your head..
I do hope you are ok and that everything turns out ok in your side..
Jacqueline x
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