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female
,
anonymous
writes: Hi, I'm worried about my mate. We are both 23. Last year she lost her job. She went really depressed but seemed better when she got a new man. When we talk on the phone I ask her how the job search is going. I go out looking for jobs for her. Well I hadn't heard off her in ages. Then I was in the same shop as her and saw her stealing. She got caught and was screaming.Then I got an abusive text off her saying I look down on her for not having a job and show off about my social life, which I don't. I ask because I'm worried. I've got her loads of job from friends but she don't bother. I told her that I've heard she was taking drugs. Then I saw her Monday and she couldn't talk properly. She had scars all over her face and boil spots. Is that the sign of drugs? I don't know what to do though. If I ask she thinks I'm being pushy. I can't ignore it in case it gets worse. How can I help? Thank you x
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2006): Your friend is not thinking clearly and she's floundering badly. Her family needs to be notified. Some things are bigger than friendship. Talk to her family yourself and let them know you have tried..and then-step away-now it's up to them. Sometimes being a true friend involves "saving someone's neck even when you put the noose on yourself." After that, tell your friend, to contact you when she has made better choices with her life. There is nothing more you can do for her. You've done that she won't comply. Why keep hitting yourself over the head with a hammer. A healthy, equal balanced friendship is when two people share common interests, respect and give of each other time and love'equally'. You are giving and giving and giving! She'll end up sucking the life energy out of you. Don’t support her bad choices. Learn to say good bye as you've done all you can for her...and she's not appreciating your support and encouragement. It's time to move forward and leave in the hands of her family. Good Luck
A
female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (13 July 2006):
 Hi there,
You are a great friend and have tried alot for her than you can realised.You have gotten her jobs from friends and she doesnt bother means she isnt making an effort to do something about her life.She is past 21 now and could at least try. I know she must mean alot to you to want to help her but she herself has to be willing.
It depends on your relationship with her parents what i would do if i were you is to express my concern to her folks. Maybe they can talk some sense into her and get her into a rehab center if she is on drugs.that is the best you can do really i wouldnt advise you to keep talking to her because her behaviour towards you isnt encouraging and i dont want you to get close so that you dont get hurt.
I hope i helped abit maybe someone here can shed more light.Just be careful and know you have already tried more than alot of people would have done.
Goodluck dear.
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