A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Im in my 30's and have always been a tiny frame, only a dinker at 5 ft 2, and if I put on weight it only ever goes on my belly so I like to run 4/5 times a week, for fitness and to keep myself toned. I have this one friend, who every time I go out, basically makes me feel like crap. She'll always say in front of people that I have legs like tooth picks, and I need to seriously put on weight. I have always been this size and will never change, no matter how much food I eat. I snapped back last night in front of people saying "you're just jealous".. but she turned around and said "no Im not, beleive me"... I was embarrassed and felt upset that she always needs to dig at me when I ever wear skinny jeans, or get my legs up. What am I supposed to do... hide in baggy clothes? I would love to beef up abit, but I am who I am and its just not gonna happen. How can I get over this? I was a bridemaid at her wedding, and her 2 children are my godchildren... so its not as simply as to just stop hanging out with her.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2009): Thank you all for your comments, I do appreciate it, people usually put people down to make themselves feel better. I'll definately speak up next time, Ive put up with her snide and hurtful comments for far too long xx
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (8 August 2009):
 Hi there... you say you want to beef up a bit, well I think you need to - but not your weight. I think you need to beef up your attitude and honesty!! I think you need to be straight with your friend and tell her how her little comments hurt you and embarrass you and how you're completely sick of having her critique your frame and humiliate you. If she is a real friend, she'll apologize and cut the comments out.
Your friend definitely needs a reality check!! And I'll bet she is jealous, even though she had a comeback for that one... she didn't want to be called out in public, but you know it's the truth.
Good luck, sweetness!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2009): I know exactly how you feel. I have always been slim and picked on for it - mainly by my family in law so like you was unable to avoid it for years. Deep down I am proud of my figure but every family photo I was singled out and criticised, comments made - I used to shake with nerves when I knew the comments were about to come. It made me depressed and I started to feel low about myself. HOwever when I started to look at the people saying it I realised that actually they were jealous - they were overweight, had large legs or a big belly. Your 'friend' (though lets face it no real friend would be so rude) uses you as a scapegoat to cover up her own terrible insecurity and bitterness. Like a bully at school. I think you need to speak to someone else who is often present when you are out and let them know, privately, how upset it is making you. Ensure that person will stand up for you too when you stand up for yourself next time. My biggest failing was that my husband never ever stood up for me and so I was left to feel bad while everyone else just fell silent. She must not be allowed to get away with this behaviour. You need a support so that when you say "Why are you always picking on me about my weight? Don't you think its rude and hurtful? because I do and I want you to stop doing it please" you need someone else there, prepared to also say "Yes it is, why do you keep doing it?". I accept that you are in a slightly difficult position regarding being a godmother etc but that is precisely why your friend is doing it - because she knows you will not easily be able to fight back beacuse of your duties and ties. She knows you will keep quiet to keep the peace. This is totally wrong. If you were very overweight and she kept picking on you everyone would jump to your defence.... because you are the opposite for some reason it is acceptable in society to mock thin-ness. Do not let her get away with it. If she does not stop after several attempts by you or others then I'm afraid to say your only solution, unless you like verbal abuse, is to remove yourself from social activities that include her until she asks you why you are no longer there. By the way don't let anyone tell you she says it becasue she is 'concerned' about your health - thats rubbish. Her actions are abusive.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2009): She is probably jealous! After having two kids her body's probably lagging and she takes it out on you, who is very lucky in their shape! ;) Darling, you must take her aside and talk to her, you've always been this size! You can't change it and she must accept this,
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