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We are not having sex because of his dirty underwear, how do I resolve this??

Tagged as: Marriage problems, Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 March 2007) 5 Answers - (Newest, 7 March 2007)
A female Australia age 41-50, anonymous writes:

You may remember when I asked the following question here:

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-husbands-unwashed-dirty-underwear.html

Well, I've tried talking to him about the issue, but he keeps on insisting "Don't wash my undies, if they're dirty and smelly, so what!"

The irony is, he tries to make himself look and feel good, but wears unwashed underwear.

I tried doing what you suggested, but he's locked his underwear drawer with a key and refuses to let me have the key.

We don't have sex anymore because of this - how can I resolve this issue without us splitting up??

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2007):

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Anon wrote:

Is this any surprise that you don't have sex because of his dirty underwear? While he's out don't people notice the stink of his underwear? Do his mates notice? Maybe ask him about it and if anyone has ever commented about it. And another thing, if you really want to get back at him why don't you do the same thing and wear dirty underwear around the house (whilst he's there and change whilst out)? That way he can see how it feels for you and then maybe he'll change his habit.

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He told me no-one notices the stink because he puts aftershave and perfume on his underwear.

He wears a lot of aftershave anyway, because he has meetings with clients.

He has insisted there is nothing wrong with it, and I shouldn't worry.

What health problems could he get from it??

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2007):

Is this any surprise that you don't have sex because of his dirty underwear? While he's out don't people notice the stink of his underwear? Do his mates notice? Maybe ask him about it and if anyone has ever commented about it. And another thing, if you really want to get back at him why don't you do the same thing and wear dirty underwear around the house (whilst he's there and change whilst out)? That way he can see how it feels for you and then maybe he'll change his habit.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2007):

Just because there are two kitties in the oven doesn't make 'em biscuits! This guy is a little nuts....his habit is keeping him from having sex, what normal man would refuse to change a stupid habit in order to have sex with his girlfriend?

His poor hygiene could even cause you to contract the Human Papalova virus that leads to cervical cancer, not to mention just the bacterial vaginal infections you could get from his dirty ecoli infested underwear....Gross.

He needs help, this fetish is affecting his normal life and whenever that happens it is a problem, nuff said.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (7 March 2007):

eyeswideopen agony auntI guess you just have to live with stinky if you don't want to split up. You can't make him do anything he doesn't want to do. End of story.

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A female reader, vina_101 United Kingdom +, writes (7 March 2007):

vina_101 agony auntScare him out of it. Expalin to him how unhygienic (sp) it is and maybe make up a story. Say you found a story on the internet or in the newspaper about a similar guy and he got a horrible infection...or ask a doctor if there really is a chance of anything happening to him. You could also try gving him an ultimatum. It is up to you to decide what that is. You could threaten to break up with him or sacrafice something he loves to try and get him to stop. Is there anything you do or anything you can do that he hates? Maybe you could keep doing that until he gives in and compromises.

At the end of the day, do you want to be with a guy who doesn't wash his undies? Do you want a boyfriend who has poor hygiene? How many women want that? Not many I'm sure. In my opinion a boyfriend who refuses to wash his undies, and smells as a result is a valid reason for dumping him. In MY opinion. I know you don't want to but...do you want to be with a guy who doesn't wash his undies?

Is he willing to sacrafice his love of dirty underwear for you? Would he easily choose it over you? Would he come to his senses if you threatened to leave him? Would you follow through with the threat? Who's more likely to compromise here? You or him? It's getting serious now. You need to make a choice. Think how much happier you'll be.

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