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My first ever relationship with a girl!

Tagged as: Gay relationships, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 November 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 13 November 2008)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I just found out my girlfriend is still talking to three of her exs what kind of stuff is that and she said it's not a problem so I said it's okay if I do it then but she said no she's different, what's the craziness? Anyone help me should I give her a choice and hope she picks me?

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (13 November 2008):

TasteofIndia agony auntI have exes, all of whom I have friendly, awesome friendships with. Hey, I mean, it's not as if I dated jerks. I genuinely enjoyed all of their company, but we ended for a reason. My boyfriend now could care less that I talk to them still - in fact, he hangs out with a lot of them. They're nice guys.

It's not fair that she's set this double standard saying that she can stay friends while you can't... not unless you're not trustworthy and your exes aren't either.

It all comes down to trust. Does she trust you enough not to misbehave? Do you trust her and those exes of hers to all act appropriately? I don't think an ultimatum is the answer...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2008):

I have three exes and I still talk to them and I am friendly with them. My boyfriend knows he can trust me. If you don't feel like you can trust her then maybe you don't know her all that well. Stay with her, don't make her choose just now. How often does she talk to them? And do her exes have partners?

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