A
male
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:Hey, well Im 18 years old and as of yet had not had a girlfriend. I was born with a birth defect to my hands in which my fingers are deformed.The only relationship i've had has been an online one and she knew about my situation. I'm not anti-social. In fact, i know that i can be a fairly extrovert guy judging by the way i act with people that know me well and feel comfortable with. The problem is that those people are VERY few or family. Im not ugly judging by what some girls have told me. My main problem arises when I try to make new friends or try talking to a girl I like. Im really scared to show them my hands so i like keep them hidden in my pocket or whatever. As a result I come off as very tense and isolated. I have a reason to feel scared. In 7th grade, I was picked on constantly throughout the whole year because of my hands. Before then i wasn't really so scared. Other times too i have shown a girl my hands and she has stopped talking to me. I just don't know what to do. Im beggining to feel like I might not ever get a girlfriend.
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female
reader, Seratuki +, writes (14 May 2008):
 Hello...
I have physical problems as well...and I have become anti-social because of it, but now, at the age of 28 I have realized that most people react badly to physical deformaties because they just don't KNOW any better!
I find that in my own life if I make jokes about it with people it puts them at ease with me and it's eventually no longer an issue.
I understand the frusteration tho, please don't think I don't understand it, and there are times even now when some people's reaction bother me...but then, I wouldn't change it.
you see, people like you and I..people born outside of the so called "normal" society are given a wonderful gift. the gift of appriciation, the gift of understanding and compassion much deeper because we can see the world from outside the normal parameters.
If I wasn't born with my problems I wouldn't be ME! I wouldnt be able to understand people in this way...and as much as it hurts I truly believe someday you will feel the same...
give it time, try to keep a select group of friends and know deep down that those who reject you are not worth having in the first place...
feel free to message me if you want to talk...anytime.
Blessed Be.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2008): You're still very young, some girls need to grow up a bit.
I'm sure your hands are perfectly fine - you might just think that they're not because of what people have been telling you.
If you're comfortable with your hands no one will notice and if they do they might even think it cute.
Work on your personality and the way you treat people especially the girls you like - you'll find someone who's the perfect fit.
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A
female
reader, Dorasultan  +, writes (13 May 2008):
hey, i hope you are fine when you read this reply.
I think you should go to a club where there are people with similar problems and you could see that you are not the only one who is in this situation.
the most important thing is you should get confidence.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 + ♥, writes (13 May 2008):
 Hi, saw your post and it reminded me of a well known broadcast and actress here in the US, Bree Walker. She's been married 3 times and has 2 children, so there's definitely hope for you! Though I rather hope you don't have to divorce as many times as she did. Here's a link to her on Wikipedia.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bree_Walker
I have no doubt that if you keep your confidence high and cultivate your personality and keep on making friends that you will find a girl who sees past a physical anomaly to the real you!
All the best.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2008): hey, i hope you are fine when you read this reply.
I think you should go to a club where there are people with similar problems and you could see that you are not the only one who is in this situation.
the most important thing is you should get confidence.
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A
female
reader, sassymouse +, writes (13 May 2008):
 hey! dont worry about it! honestly any one who judges you because of a birth defect is a complete loser! dont be shy about it, dont feel like you have to hide it, if you put it out there as soon as you meet people etc they will just accept it as part of you! trust me, you deserve better than anyone who would have massive hangups about a hand! good luck! x
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A
female
reader, sweetheart03 +, writes (13 May 2008):
I think you shouldn't hide them....if I met you ill rather see the real you then be shocked later if it was to shock me. By showing girls off the bat and they still talk to you it shows you how loyal or how it doesn't bother them they way you may have thought it would. If your handsome your hands don't matter....feet arm anything else! I look for the person you are and I know a lot of girls who do the same! So just wait and c the right girl will come...just don't hide it ok! Don't be ashamed 7 grade is hard for everyone the older you get your friends should be more mature and won't act like little kids..... So good luck and give it time I didn't date til I was 19 he was my first boyfriend.....so good luck.kisses*
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A
female
reader, bellalicious  +, writes (13 May 2008):
 Most girls loves guys because of their inner beauty, not outer beauty :D
Girls who minds your finger, ain't worth, trust me (:
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2008): hey dont be shy dude ,my teacher has the same thing but he has no fingers except his wedding finger which he had put there ,i cant say his name but hes around 37 ,38 not sure but hes married and has a son [his wife is hot ] so yea
you will get a girl freind its just a matter of time ,hey i dont have a girl freind yet...and im only 15
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2008): hey dont be shy dude ,my teacher has the same thing but he has no fingers except his wedding finger which he had put there ,i cant say his name but hes around 37 ,38 not sure but hes married and has a son [his wife is hot ] so yea
you will get a girl freind its just a matter of time ,hey i dont have a girl freind yet...and im only 15
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