A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i am 21 in august. i am pregnant and due in oct. my problem is, my fiance wants me to move to where he stays which is a wee bit away from all my family and friends. i dont know what to do. i know we would be better off staying with my family financially, but he is insistant in staying put and i dont want our relationship to end. i love him.
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female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (29 July 2007):
 Hey hun,
I'm 6 months pregnant and me and my guy have been through the same thing. We ended up having arguments about it and we fell out big time, but then we realised that we had to compromise.
Could you not sit down with your guy and chat through why you think you should stay with your lot and then let him do the same and see if you can meet somewhere in the middle.
In the end we decided that me moving to London and getting a place of our own, where my guy is from, was too expensive, too dangerous and would leave me feeling very lonely.
Where as if he moved here, yes he wouldn't be around his family all the time but we could still go see them and I would have people around me so I wouldn't get lonely. Plus I wouldn't feel scared to leave my home as much as I would in London.
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A
female
reader, Carina  +, writes (26 July 2007):
 A relationship is all about compromise and ideally you meet each other halfway in these issues. You don't say what your fiances reasons are for staying where he is. Is that where he works? How far is the distance? Would you be able to visit your family often and they you? I agree that if it's financially better for you to stay with your family, that might be better shortterm, but you won't want to stay with them forever. Perhaps it's time to start being more independent and perhaps that's what your fiance is trying to do. It's always much harder to stay with someone else's family than stay with your own. Does he feel comfortable with yours? On the other hand, when you have your baby you'll need friends and family for support. Would he be able to provide that kind of support?
As you can see, there are lots of things that you need to discuss together before making this decision. I would suggest that you sit down together and write down all the positive and negative things for both of you in moving to where he is and then in staying where you are. Have a look at what points come up and talk about what you both really want and why. Somewhere along the line one of you may have to give more than the other but if you both know that's the most sensible thing to do then you'll both feel comfortable about it. Nowadays many people end up living miles away from their families and friends. I know it's not ideal but remember you will make new friends wherever you go and having a small child makes it much easier because you'll meet people at mother toddler groups and so on. Good luck!
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