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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I have an opportunity to work full time over the summer and I'm stumbling upon some problems: its really my parents that want me to work, even though I go to school full time and work part time. I have money saved up so I won't bother them during the summer. But all they do is show how agitated they are that I want to spend my summer NOT working. Another problem is my boyfriend. He keeps telling me that I will hate my summer if I work so much, even though I think its awfully selfish of him. He doesn't want me to work because he wants me to himself during the summer. As much as I want that, when I REALLY think about it, i would rather have a good amount of money in my pocket than spend boring, hot days at his house or mine sometimes doing nothing. I want to be productive but I'm torn. I feel like if I work, he will lose interest or something (we are going on a year and a half together) and will be angry with me. He is already irritated that I'm contemplating the idea. The job isn't grueling, its a secretary position sort of, but I have the opportunity to earn about 2 or 3 grand, which for me is a lot of money. If I was single, the decision would be a LOT easier to make... someone please help me out. Thank you
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female
reader, kirra07  +, writes (5 April 2011):
That's great to hear! It's really the best choice for you, and hopefully your bf will understand that. How to tell him though? Don't tell him over text, msn, email, phone, etc. Make sure to tell him in person. Just tell him in a logical way. Point out all the pros to this: - extra money (could mean more interesting dates)- keeping busy so that you don't get bored by spending too much time together- building up your resume for the future- saving for school and other thingsMake sure to help him understand that it's not personal, that you've enjoyed summers before spending time with him, but now you are concerned about the future and money and jobs have to play a role now. And that even with work, you still have evenings and weekends together. Absence makes the heart fonder after all. Spending time apart makes it more exciting when you do get to see each other. If he DOES act childishly, don't let him manipulate you into catering to him. Maybe give him some time to think about it and get used to it. Because really it is the right decision for you and it is quite selfish of him to ask you not to work just to spend time with you. Is he going to be paying you money to spend time with him? No, so he should not have any issues with you working to make some extra cash. Good luck with telling him, and with your new job!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the helpful advice, I've decided to take the job :)
How do I bring it up to him like a mature, responsible adult would? I'm 19 and so is my boyfriend, and I'm beginning to venture into the adult life, I no longer want to be the kid spending summer vacations at home playing video games.
Do I HAVE to tell him explicitly when I work or will it just all kind of fall into place? He takes these things rather childishly, and yes, he's not working so he doesn't want me to either.
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A
female
reader, kirra07 +, writes (4 April 2011):
Really, it's unrealistic of him to think that you can just not work and hang out with him all summer. You're going to school and that costs a lot of money. Plus, it's a great chance for you to save up some money for your future - if you want to live by yourself, if you want to take a trip, buying things you want.
What is he doing during the summer? If he isn't working and that's why he wants you to take the time off, maybe he should get a job too. And working full time doesn't mean that you will not have time for each other. Without school, you won't have to study during the evenings. You should have plenty of time to spend some weekday evenings and weekends together. Plus, if you earn some money, you'll be able to do much more things together, rather than just sitting at home watching tv and saving on expenses.
Really, do what you think would be best for you. If you get a job, you will have spare money. Plus, you have more experience to put on your resume. Don't get pressured into the decision by either your parents or your boyfriend. Do what will make you happiest, it's YOUR summer.
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