A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupid, my sister and my mother hate my boyfriend!and i feel like its creating a gap between us and this makes no sense!when i ask them why they dont like him their only reasons are because he doesnt have much money all the time to take me to expensive places,because weve been together almost three years and they feel i should experince other people since im young(im 20),and the last reason is a few months ago my sister found out we started having sex.My sister is the biggest problem shes always snooping around in my stuff ,listening to my phone conversations with him,boarding up my windows,she even went as far as removing and hiding the doorknob from my door to make sure i cant close it if me and my boyfriend are in there alone.The most outrageous thing shes done is coach another man to act like we were cheating in hopes it would ruin my relationship.Its ridiculous they always calling me names like slut just because they know i slept with one person and they dont understand that im a adult capable of making my own decisions!Theyll stop talking to me for days just because i go on a date with my boyfriend.As for me im in love with my boyfriend and hes in love with me, hes not perfect but no one is,weve broke up three times over silly things but who doesnt.If he was mis-treating me then of course id leave him but i just dont see what their seeing and im thinking of moving out not because they dont like him but because i want my privacy and i want to be respected as an adult not treated as a child anymore just because im the youngest!i really hate for this to come between us but i cant take it anymore!SHOULD I MOVE OUT OR NOT???
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2011): thanks everyone so much for your input.this helped so much!
A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (26 July 2011):
 Move out as soon as possible. You deserve respect and you're not getting it. Maybe you could move in with him or something. But you shouldn't have a relationship with your mother and sister until they learn to grow up and respect your life and the people in it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2011): You sound like a responsible young woman and you should do what makes you happy. Unfortunately sometimes families are not as supportive as we would like, but that doesn't make them right. I think that it's commendable that you have been with the same guy for so many years - you obviously know and love each other - its perfectly healthy that you're having sex and its unfair that you are dealing with such mistrust at home. A friend of mine is 25 and moved home to find herself in a similar situation to yours - even though she'd lived away for 5 years, and had a great career, her mother just couldn't accept that she was an adult or her relationship. Sadly my friend's relationship didn't last the parental assault. In the end, my friend moved out because she was unable to live her life and is much happier now. Even though we love our families it's sometimes hard for mothers to let us make our own choices especially when you're still living under their roof. I think you should move out and see how it goes - I'm not saying you should move in with your boyfriend, but you need your own space. Maybe then you're family will start to see that you are a responsible adult.
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A
male
reader, goalstopper +, writes (26 July 2011):
I think your sister wants your boyfriend. She just doesn't want to say it honestly to you. Tell her to get over herself and maybe help her find a man.
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (26 July 2011):
 Your sister is quite frankly acting like a child. Her catty bitchy behaviour will drive you apart of that carries on. You should not have to put up with this. So what if he doesn't make enough money to take you out to tea. Does he make you happy, does he care about you, does he love you to pieces. By the sounds of it yes. Your relationship is your business and if I were you I would definately move out.
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