A
male
age
36-40,
*lackjack
writes:She broke up with me saying that she did not feel the love like she used to and she wanted me to figure out who I was and what really makes me happy before I try and pursue a relationship with anyone. Then she still wanted to see me and sleep in each others bed and still say I miss you and I love you.... then a few weeks ago she told me she felt pressure from me to pursue a relationship and did not want that right now. So we took a more permanent break and she says she wants to just be friends w me. She has not said anything about a future together and when I mentioned it in emails or texts she ignored it. So we have not been really talking for 3 weeks now and I was waiting on her to decide when she might want to try and do a "friend" activity so Sunday she asks if I want to have dinner w her I agree but could not make it and had to see her to pick up my stuff from he place. While there it was painfully awkward and strained, I tried to put on a brave face and smile and be nice but I got the feeling like she wanted nothing to do with me and she hardly even looked at me..... I had lost some weight and changed my hair and she did not comment or say anything which kind of hurt. Its hard I went from talking with this girl everyday to not talking her at all and to me it appears like she could care less, she says she is sorry she hurt me, but she had to be honest and wanted me to figure out who I am and what I want..... which sucks cause to me I know who I am and what I want is her!So my question is the whole friends still after a break up thing..... does not really talking to her make things better or worse? Do other people see the changes for good in their Ex's and desire to be with them again? How do you go about being friends???
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a break, broke up, I love you, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Blackjack +, writes (23 July 2008):
Blackjack is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhaha ok easy enough, I know I do have some clue about the world but I like alot of people like to shut my mind off and let all the pretty lights lull me to a sense of happiness or brain deficiency but hey whatever.
Current Prez is GEORGE BUSH, Day o the week is Wednesday, and I ate a small child and prayed to satan to make all my problems go away.... haha no I had an apple and protein shake.
Yeah I know what you mean about waking up and feeling like that I swore it would not happen to me and lo and behold it did, all I can do is move on.
Thanks again.
A
male
reader, Blackjack +, writes (23 July 2008):
Blackjack is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk well you guys are on a whole other level with some of your back and forth. Yes I am young I admit that and I am inexperienced in the ways of love and girls for the most part. I am only 24 and this is the first real relationship I have had. I am honestly just a nice guy that went with the flow too much and did not say no enough to provide a challenge for her much anymore.
Anyway thank you both again for your comments even if some of them are a little out there, I still appreciate them.
I got to go the Ex just called me and asked me to detail her car and cook her dinner........ ahahha
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A
male
reader, Blackjack +, writes (23 July 2008):
Blackjack is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOK well I am not sure what is going on between the two of you but here is a little more information on how things were. I moved in w her for about a month in April and by the end of it she was fed up with me being around too much and not having a job yet, she breaks it off w me and says I should prolly move out and that she would still be my friend but did not feel the same way as before. I got a job the next few weeks and moved out, we still kept in contact and in that time we said "I love you" and "I miss U" to each other we still hung out and did stuff and I slept over there quite often as it was easier cause she had a dog that needed care. She got back from a trip home and told me she still felt pressure a few weeks ago and that she needed space and time and felt I needed a clean break, She was not telling me not to go out and find new realationships or anything like that all she was doing was pointing out that I should probally find out what makes me happy and have a firm base in myself before I tried to put myself into a new realationship.
I hope that clears things up for both of you and thank you both for your comments.
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A
male
reader, Blackjack +, writes (23 July 2008):
Blackjack is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSorry I did not make it clear she did not insturct me in what to do, She was making a statement that I should try and figure out who I am and what I want first to be a whole person... whatever that is first before I try and throw myself into a realatoinship. She had also had many more realationships then I had she was my first and I think in the back of her mind wondered if I knew I really wanted her or was just attracted to her cause she was my first. I personally think it was not cause she was my first but because of the way I truly felt and cared for her. I tend to put too much of myself into others and what they need or feel and often neglect my own needs or wants for their sakes.
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