A
male
age
22-25,
cc1985
writes:i recently split with my girlfriend and she wants to talk about our problems tomorrow. one was that i want her to come out with me and my friends to the pub/clubs so she can get to know me and them better but she wouldn't. she graduated from uni almost 2 years ago, when we first started dating and says that drinking/going out is just a university thing. i am still in uni but really don't think that it is just for students and anyone can have fun. some people agree with her but i think it's ridiculous. i would like to hear from people who agree and people who disagree with her. also her parents don't go out anywhere like the pub, only to work and shopping. could this be why?
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male
reader, cc1985 +, writes (10 March 2008):
cc1985 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey, thanks for that. we do plenty of things she likes. Theater, cinema, resturants, walks, talking alone, even dancing but I ask her to go out once every couple of weeks with me and my friends and she won't. I finish uni in a couple of months and want to make the most of the time I have left with my friends and her as I may not see my friends for a while. My girlfriend and I were planning to move away together and I'm sure I won't be doing much clubbing then but I just want fun for the next couple of months before I start some full time job.
A
female
reader, Annalisa + ♥, writes (10 March 2008):
Some people only experience a certain life-style when they leave home for university, so they assume life will go back to normal when they graduate.
You'll have to meet half way: tell her that you enjoy clubbing and going out with your friends, that right now that's what you want to do and is likely to be the only way you'll have fun with your mates, as that's what they all do too! To be honest, you will get bored of it one day. However, tell her you would like her to join in and spend time with you and your friends.
On your part, though, be open to other options! Couples also need time alone and the opportunity to talk. Clubs are not suitable for getting to know one another, because the music is too loud and talking is too much effort.
Alternate your sort of evening (or even combine it!) with going for a meal, going to the theatre or cinema. Find out what she would like to do instead and be open to her suggestions.
God bless you and good luck!
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