A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been happily married for seven years, and I love my husband dearly and we have two great kids together. Anyway, I went to my brothers house for drinks one saturday night last month, and he has recently become friends with a guy I briefly dated during high school. I hadn't kept in touch or seen him since, but he was there for drinks. If I am totally honest, I remember thinking, goodness, how he had let himself go, as he was not as attractive as I remembered him. But he was friendly enough, and we all began drinking and chatting. After drinking over a bottle of wine, my brother had gone to bed, and I went into the kitchen to get some water as I was very drunk. The guy followed me into the kitchen, and leaned in and kissed me. I didnt resist. But it didnt last long before I pulled away and said no, I cant do this. He left, and the next day I was in a right state about it and told my brother. He said dont tell my husband,forget it happened and hed make sure I didnt see the guy again and he wouldnt invite me round again if he was there. I dont get why it happened. I didnt find him attractive or even particularly like him as a person that much. I agreed to put it behind me. But I cant forget. Guilt is eating away at me, and my husband is so good to me I feel like I owe him the truth. Should I tell him what happened, and if I do, what is the best way to explain it to him? Ive never hurt him before. I know lots of you may think I am being selfish, but I just dont want to hurt him. Im not even afraid of him leaving me, because I know he wont. I just cant bear the idea of causing him pain. What is the right thing to do? I just wish I had never ever gone to my brothers house that night.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2015): Try to forget it and move on. Don't tell your husband because you don't have anything to feel guilty about. It was one kiss that you didn't ask for.
If you tell your husband his mind might start racing if you are telling him the full story or not. He might worry it was more than it actually was. I would definitely keep this one to yourself.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2015): Forget it. Learn from it and move on. It was nothing and meant nothing but be so much more careful in the future.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2015): In this case, you didn't do anything to instigate what happened. It's not like you pursued the guy all evening and you both snuck into the kitchen to make-out. He made a pass, and you stopped it. That's all that happened.
I'm with your brother. He caught you off-guard and took advantage of your drunken state. That's all. Don't ruin you marriage making it sound like you both did the nasty on counter-tops. It will unnecessarily upset your husband.
Don't over dramatize.
I don't think that incident warrants upsetting your husband.
Don't get drunk if you can't handle your alcohol. It lowers your defenses and distorts your judgement. If you can't remember you're a married-woman when you're drunk, don't drink around old boyfriends.
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