A
male
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:My gf broke up with me like 3 months ago after about a year and a half. We tried being friends right off the bat, but it didnt work and we didnt talk for about two months. She calls me to hangout two days in a row and now she says she doesn't want to be friends, just friendly and that she doesn't want to hangout because she feels uncomfortable even though I acted as I would with my other friends. The next day I see her and she gives me the cold shoulder, but a couple days later shes talking to me like everythings fine. Am I right to assume that she's uncomfortable hanging out with me and stuff because she's afraid of those feelings coming back and she doesn't want them right now? If not why do you think she's so uncomfortable with me, but is hot and cold with me?
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male
reader, CaringGuy  + ♥, writes (4 November 2009):
This is really why exes shouldn't remain friends. She has done this because she knows it's painful and is trying to make it less so. Generally exes can't remain friends because there is too much drama and too much past. You would be much better telling her politely that it's time for you both to move on.
A
female
reader, satindesire +, writes (4 November 2009):
 Most people tell their exes that they want to be friends because they're trying to dull the pain of the breakup. They're too afraid to just break up with them and move on, because they don't want to hurt the other person too badly. Thing is, breakups are painful no matter what, and in fact beings friends with your ex just makes the mourning process and getting over them LONGER and more difficult.
The thing to do, what would be best for YOU, would be to just telling her straight up that you appreciate her trying to make you feel better, but being friends will only make moving on harder...and that you think you should just not talk anymore, because the relationship is over and it's time to meet new people.
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