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My ex apologized but she never really said she was at fault

Tagged as: The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 October 2017) 2 Answers - (Newest, 31 October 2017)
A male Canada age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Hi cupid, my ex apologised to me which is a rare occasion. After 2 years since we broke up, one line she said really triggered me... I read her apology and as soon as i saw the line "i dont want any drama" i snapped. This was a girl i really cared for but she constantly kept causing some kind of drama. It was quite long for an apology but that line was enough for me and she never really admitted fault instead saying "we". Which is true but i feel like when you say an apology you say what you did and leave it at that. If you say we, that means you dont really mean it even if you do.

View related questions: broke up, my ex

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A female reader, femmenoir Australia +, writes (31 October 2017):

femmenoir agony auntYou should have cut permanently loose from this ex gf as soon as it was over with.

Two years later and she's still carrying on like this.

You are giving her exactly what she wants and craves-ATTENTION!

STOP DOING IT and MOVE ON with your life.

You owe her nothing now, nor she you and her apology means nothing more than a slap on your cheek.

She has her pride, her ego and she won't allow you to bruise her, hence her false apology.

If this woman can't even take full ownership of her flaws and screw ups, then how on earth could it ever have worked out for the two of you?

You need to block her via all forms of contact, ie: mob ph, email, fb, everything.

She is your past and you have moved on.

You're still alive and kicking and she had no power to destroy you.

You need to carve a new and fresh future out for yourself.

You're a man and a man must take full control of his life and hold his head high and move forward toward bigger, better and greater things.

The truth is, she only ever sent her false apology to you online, after 2 years, is because she's doing just that, causing her usual drama again!!

She wants you to notice, she wants a bit more colour and action with you, but you must take full control here.

She can't function any other way, but you can and you can by simply ignoring her forever.

As i mentioned before, you should block her immediately and put her and the past behind you.

You know you can find and you can do much, much better.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (28 October 2017):

Honeypie agony auntThe apology was NOT for you. It was to make herself feel better about what happened. SHE knows she messed up, she knows it was mostly her fault but she doesn't WANT to take responsibility for it and she doesn't want to own it anymore, hence the unapologetic apology. The sentence "I don't want drama" is her saying LET him have my little delusion that it was "our fault" not mine...

Here is the things, OP

You two broke up 2 years ago. LET it go. WHO cares! In the long run, it doesn't matter who did what back then. Don't waste your time living in the past. Learn from it, let it go and move on.

You COULD tell her exactly how she messed up or... you can tell her you don't give a flying fart about what happened back then because you have moved on. (even if it's not entirely true).

My guess is she is hoping you will tell her ALL is forgiven OR you will "create" drama which will make her feel like you still care. Either scenario is pointless. You don't owe her squat. You don't owe her forgiveness but ... you do owe YOURSELF to let it go and not let the past with her make you a bitter guy.

Chin up and CUT all contact with her, block her on everything. Take out the trash, be done with her and stop letting her nettle you. You are giving her power over how you feel - 2 YEARS!! after the breakup. Bet she is just gobbling that drama up!

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