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My emotions are taking over my life...

Tagged as: Big Questions, Friends, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 December 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 13 December 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, *aurennAlice writes:

My emotions are runing my life at the moment. im extremely conscious of myself, its ALWAYS on my mind and when lots of people are around itend to cover my mouth and nose up so no one can see my face.

my counciler says i worrie too much.

i dont like to tell people about how i feel because i dont want to dump my problems on anyone else. i dont want my mom and dad to know how i feel because i dont want them to worry about me and i want them to know im fine.

also all my friends have boyfriends except me. I take pride in my appearance, i have longish dark brown hair and i always try to do ssomething extravagant with it because i like to stand out, i have dark brown eyes and wear alot of eye make up. and tanned skin. im a size 12-14 in clothes (my friends are all 6-8)

people always say that lads dont like super thin girls but i dont see any justificatin in that.

is it true ??

it would be nice if someone could reply to me (:

lots of love lauren xxx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2009):

hey, i know how your feeling. i too am in high school, and have friends alot smaller than i am. last year, and now and then this year i get into those moments when i feel really insecure about my self and my body. but people are right, guys dont like girls that are too skinny.. i mean some do..but not always.

i understand that you dont want to bother people with your feelings, and talking to your parents isnt always the easiest thing to do. but i'll tell you how i deal with these feelings. i believe that there is someone out there for everyone, and sooner or later your going to meet him. i also believe that everything happens, and is happening for a reason. such as..we look the way we do for a reason and we should just try to accept that..

a couple years ago i went out with this boy for a while. it was an on and off relationship. it was also my first. because it was my first i was really attached and did everything i could to make him happy with me. once we broke up for sure he made me feel so bad about myself. that summer i made it a goal to change my self confidence and workout alot so when we went back to school he would see i was better than he thought i was and im happy with myself. well long story short it worked, and he tried to get me back but i denied him because after all that i realized it wasnt worth it.

yes guys are attracted to "hot bodies" but believe it or not your personality and how you feel and carry your self plays a big part in their choices too.

i hope everything works out (:

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A female reader, Larrk United States +, writes (13 December 2009):

Hi Lauren,

You sound a lot like my son. He is just like you in that he is quiet and doesn't like to bring me down. He is also self conscious and had a bout of extreme shyness in HS. It wasn't around his friends or me but in crowds and at school.

It's normal for some of us to be introverts as it is for some to be extroverts. I was very shy but it wore off with age!

I think most women are a 12-14 in the US at least in my area. It isn't the size that men like it is your personality. It is hard for guys to get to know you because the shyness gets in the way.

Get a job where you work with people and then eventually you will get used to letting yourself come out. I had to fight it, shyness but I found that people liked me once I let my guard down.

So try and fight the shyness. It does get better and time helps a lot too as well as working.

Best of luck,

Larrk

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2009):

Hello

Your parents will want to know how you feel. You can just be casual about it, say, hey do you know what, I'm feeling like an emotional rollercoster at the moment, ask your mum how she coped as a teenager. She would of gone through all the hormonal stages just like you! Mum's always no best even though not every1 likes to admit it!

As for bfs; its more hassle than its worth. At school I had friends who changed the bf's as often as the weather changed. I sometimes felt like I really wanted to be like them, I also worried about being a size 10-12 when they looked so thin. But guys at school are pretty immature, boys tend to grow up slower than girls any way!

As a rule if a guy cant see past looks and dress size then hes not worth being with. There are plenty of guys out there who dont care if a girl is skinny or normal or big, they want to get to know them and their personality. There is no rush for a bf but trust me, there are guys like this out there!

For now just go out with your mates and be happy, join new clubs or start new hobbies and you can biuld up your confidence and be happy with the skin your in. You could meet a wider circle of guys too by joining new clubs!

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