A
female
age
30-35,
*XBeccaTxX
writes:I do stuff wrong a lot of the time...But i done something the other day and my Dad practicly called me useless!!!Ok,we have two phones,but when my m8 talks to me on one phone i'm ment to ring her back up on another or it costs LOADS...The problem was that i didn't,cause i forgot. The next day i noticed what i had done and i wasn't going to say anything unill i accidently slipped out a clue. He went absolutely MAD and started shouting at me even though it was an accident. I didn't want to tell him but the reason i keep doing stuff wrong is because i'm under so much pressure at the moment. He said to me. "Why is it always you? Why can't you just be like your brother! He never does anything wrong!! You know what? Your useless!!"It hurt me ALOT,he can normally resolve the situation but not verbaly abuse me at the same time. I pretended i wasn't hurt and went up to my room where i started crying. I had to bring the phone down and he saw me crying...now i feel like a complete baby and i think my Dad feels guitly.Why did he do that?? Why does he KEEP doing that? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aussiegal_d3vol  +, writes (11 March 2008):
 When parents get on their angry side they usually shout at you callling u any name what comes to their head. Mine do it all the time and so does everybody else.
i guess they could mean it or maybe its all the rage built inside them that they have no1 else to let it out on and wen u stuff sumthing up even if its over a pathetic thing they let it all out on you not caring how hurt u'll get from it.
A
female
reader, BigSis +, writes (11 March 2008):
 Oh babe, don't so be disheartened. Like many a father, they do tend to fly off the handle sometimes. I'm sure he didn't mean it when he said you were useless, it was probably just an impulse thing, like you said you think your dad felt guilty after, once he'd seen you had been crying.
Do try and have a heart to heart with him, ask him (don't tell him) not keep comparing you with your brother - as it makes you feel inadequate and it really upsets you, making you feel second best.
Maybe apologise to him and tell him you weren't thinking straight, as you're under pressure.
You haven't told us what pressure you're under, but whatever it is, maybe he can be of help, talk it out with him. Dad's can be good friends if you confide in them. He'll probably respect you for asking his advice regarding this pressure you're under.
Give it a go, and good luck Becca, i'm sure it will be ok. Chin up, eh? :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2008): Well, understand that parents are under a lot of pressure too. I don't know about where you live, but here in the US we're going through a recession and everyone is broke..you're lucky to have a job here. As a parent of 2 babies I am constantly stressed about money and afraid to lose our home. He probably is under a lot of stress too and the fact that you just wasted a lot of money probably made him very upset. He is frustersated with you. He wants you to use your head to make better decisions. Maybe he thinks that you don't care & that's why you keep screwing up. Just try to be more careful in the future, think about other people other than yourself. I am sure he didn't mean that you are useless, and he probably does feel really bad now after saying that to you. If I were you, I would just leave it and just try to be more careful & I think your dad will too when choosing his words.
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A
female
reader, Dawnie +, writes (11 March 2008):
 You need to sit down and speak to him and let him know how hurt you are at his comments. He probably does feel guilty now and regrets saying these things but he should apologise to you. Things do get said in the heat of the moment usually to our loved ones. He was worried about the expense of the phone bill and got angry at you. We all make mistakes though. Hope it all works out.
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