A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I'm still friends with my ex-girlfriend from 5 years ago and like to go to clubs with her a few times every year because we like the same music (it might be worth mentioning that I don't get drunk or take drugs or anything, we just go for the music). But my current girlfriend hates it when I do this. I really see my ex as a friend and neither of us would ever want anything else. I wish my girlfriend would be able to accept this, after all I don't have any problem with her being friends with old partners (and she has a lot more than me). Is there any advice you kind people could give on this situation?
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Dazzerg. That's exactly what I'll do.
I feel it would be simply unfair to end my friendship with a good friend because of paranoia.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2007): Sorry but i can well understand just where she is coming from. You want to stay friends with your ex and i just hate exs. She may not seem like a threat to you but i know how your gf feels. So,if you want to keep your current gf and keep her happy then push the ex into the background and may just keep in touch at a distance but i can see no need to meet up and go to clubs etc.
take care
xx
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (6 December 2007):
 I'm going to buck what I am guessing will be the general trend here and say I don't think you are doing anything wrong. Having said that I think you do need to appreciate your gf's point of view; I don't doubt you would be understanding if the position was reversed. I think this is part of the problem, because you are giving that understanding you expect it in return.
She may well have had past relationship problems and/or be a insecure person and often those insecurities dominate our more rational side. Indeed your throwaway remark about her having more ex's seems to indicate to me she is insecure in herself for whatever reason. I think the best thing you can do is be as reassuring as possible about how you feel about her and the relationship; do nice little things for her maybe around the time you are going out with your ex to remind her that you are hers and try to avoid it becoming too big an issue. Good luck :)
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