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My crush has a BF but she wants to sleep with me. Should I do it?

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 May 2011) 5 Answers - (Newest, 15 May 2011)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

So here's the deal :

I have known this girl for a long time and we are best friends. I fell in love with her like a year ago. She has a boyfriend for like 3 year now and I quess they seem happy together.

I expresed my feeling toward her like 6 months ago and she was really surprised. Well I said she does not feel that way with me. Which I should of enticipated since she has boyfriend. I was quite hurt but thankfully it did not affect our friendship.

I had some "meaningful" sexual relationship and I got over her.

I was actualy thinking about dating this friend of mine. I was going to ask her out yesterday, but my best gf "facebooked" me and we started to talk about sex. We got to the point where she confesed to me that she's thinking about me(sexualy) and wants to have sex with me next week on this roadtrip thing.

I don't know what to do. I mean I want to have sex with her because she looks like victoria secret model, but she still has a boyfriend.

She only wants to have sex and nothing more(but I still have some romantic feelings for her).

What do you guys from dear cupid think I should do ?

PS: I have fantacized about having sex with her for a long time.

I hope I don't seem like a guy that just wants to get laid.

View related questions: best friend, crush, fell in love, has a boyfriend, she has a boyfriend

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2011):

I am the same person who wrote the last reply.

Here is what I learned. Dont think about what the other person will think or would end up doing. Those are all speculations. Well as far as she says, she just wants a fling now. So just go for it and dont worry about the rest. Cross the bridge when you get there. So just follow your heart ! All the best.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I really don't know what I am going to do. I mean my brain is not going to let me feel anything more for her. I don't want to be in a relationship with her, since she a cheater.

But why shouldn't I have sex with her. If I m not someone else might. I don't really know the guy she dating and I don't really like him.

I m young I m alowed to have sex with who I want.

Things that worry me are that she might develop some feelings and I would never be in relationship with the girl who cheats and my morals are kinda in way because shes not single.

But my sexual desires are saying something else.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2011):

I had been in your situation and i passed on the offer and its been 11 years and still I repent for it.

I cannot get a closure on that relationship at all. If you dont take this offer, you will keep feeling it for your life and will feel miserable later.

However, if you do take it, you will still feel pain after she walks away casually but at least you will have a closure. Till date i have been with only one woman in my life.

Though its a great thing according to morality, i do question myself of what it fetched me so far except feeling miserable and as a loser in that respect ... :(

It's my own experience and you should relate to what kind of person you are and think and decide. Dont ask other of what you should do. Relate to who you are and decide. Looking back, being a gentleman sucks and you need to pay a lot that too for which it is worth nothing. Good luck.

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (13 May 2011):

Danielepew agony auntYou don't seem like a guy who just wants to get laid, but you would do very wrong to sleep with her.

It should be enough to say that the girl is taken. But I know that love dies hard, and one's judgment is clouded when one is in love and young like you are (and even if you're older).

There are several things someone could dislike here:

1. You don't care much about the fact that she has a boyfriend. If the guy knew his girlfriend had slept with someone else, he would be very hurt, and they could even break up. All because you and her wanted to have sex. If you were the boyfriend, would you like your girl to sleep with someone else under the same circumstances you'd sleep with her?

2. You don't just want sex. I am under the impression that this sex relationship would feel to you like a step towards a relationship, but I don't think that will be the case.

3. She knows you don't just want sex, and she's warning you in advance that she doesn't want you to "fall in love", yet she wants to have sex with you. I believe she knows you're in love, and she wants the sex but doesn't want you to demand anything else later. This is bad for the boyfriend and yourself as well. You may get stuck in her, while she will move on.

This said, I can but notice that you come here to ask for advice. Meaning you have a conscience, man, and that is very good.

I know this doesn't sound like the right thing to do, but I think you should pass on her offer.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2011):

Honestly, if I were in your situation I would probably have sex with the girl. However, you will want to think about how this will impact your relationship with her. Additionally, you might want to consider how you would feel if word got out about your fling.

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