A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've worked with this guy for 2 years, been friends for 18 months. We work in an office in a close environment and recently he has been telling everyone how he is going to propose to his girlfriend on their one year anniversary. Everyone keeps going on about how he is the perfect boyfriend, they have the perfect relationship and what a great guy he is. Normally I would agree but I also happen to know he is cheating on his girlfriend. I've promised him I wont tell anyone and I've made it clear I disapprove and he needs to stop cheating before he proposes - but thats another story.What is really bugging me is that I have to sit there day after day listening to what a perfect boyfriend he is and what a great guy he is when I know he isnt. Sometimes I just want to shout "If he was that great, why is he getting bj's off of another girl and texting her every day asking for sexual favours?" I dont know why its getting to me. Yes he is my friend and I dont want to ruin his reputation or relationship but its really doing my head in that everyone has got this wrong image of him. What is my problem??
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female
reader, Nime  +, writes (22 October 2010):
 Under most other circumstances I'd suggest you anonymously inform his girlfriend; wouldn't you want someone to tell you? But as you are co-workers, you have to be prudent. This guy may have friends in high places or one day you might even be working for him, partnering with him, who knows. As long as you are working for the same company, don't meddle with his affairs. If you need to clear your conscience, however, you might tell him that, although you value him as a friend, you are morally uncomfortable with the knowledge that he's cheating on someone he plans to marry, and you want some distance for now. Keep it in terms of how YOU feel ONLY; you feel uncomfortable, you feel too bad for his girlfriend, and so forth; do not voice your opinions about or judge his activities to his face. Many people do not respond well when people accuse them of doing 'wrong'. Again, you are co-workers; you don't want this guy pissed at you enough to get the bosses to gang up on you or so that he starts rumors about YOU to get the attention off HIM.
A
female
reader, nyorca +, writes (22 October 2010):
look at it this way... karma's a bitch.
in time, unless he's a regular 007, he'll be found out soon enough and then no one will be singing his praises...
so don't worry!
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (22 October 2010):
 You feel sorry for his soon to be fiance..You're having the case of "If that happened to me, I would want someone to tell me". And I agree with you on that. Now, if you were one of many that knows about his dirty little secret then nothing is stopping you from typing an anonymous letter and sticking it in her mailbox. However, if you are the only one that knows then there goes your friendship, and some friction in the office. He obviously has some guilt if he had to confess to you..so there's a possibility he will blurt it out to his soon to be fiance, but not likely. Or she could find out from the girl that was giving him head. Like you I hate fake people, who portray this image that they're someone great and angel- like when they're really more the devil in disguise.
My advice don't get involved in his business and tell her..because it will backfire on you. I'd also back off being friends with him because he doesn't appear to be who he really is. Along with fooling everyone in the office, he could be in another way fooling you too.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2010): You don't have the problem, he does and you are complicit in the act because you know and that is another story...why do you know...
Why are you friends with someone who does this to another person?
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