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female
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*itlada Jitmahawong
writes: I am an 18-year-old girl.I have a closed friend who I love very much.She has just had her first boyfriend in her life.She loves and cares him very much.They are sticking themselves together all the time and this makes me feel lonely.Sometimes I want her to go shoping with but she refuses and ditches me everytime because she has to be with her boyfriend. Although I think having a boyfriend is good thing,I don't want to be left alone.What should I do? I am very lonesome. Reply to this Question
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (11 July 2005):
 Your friend is making the mistake of basically ditching her friends and not spending enough time with them because she has a boyfriend and wants to be with him. However, she may find if something goes wrong for her, her friends won't want to know anymore because of her previous behaviour.
I'm not suggesting you tell her this but you could help her to understand that her friends should still be important to her as they were there before her boyfriend came along.
Tell her you miss her company and that you feel a bit hurt that she has just pushed you to one side. Explain how you enjoy spending time with her.
She could just be going through the initial stage with her boyfriend, like the first flush of the relationship but nevertheless, she shouldn't neglect her friends.
If after talking to her, she still doesn't wish to bother with you, then I'm afraid you may have to go out and find some new friends by joining some new groups and activities and really you could do this anyway.
Good luck.
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reader, becky05 +, writes (11 July 2005):
This often hapens when a friend gets a boyfriend.Tell her how you feel, ask her to make a regular day/time when the 2 of you can spend time together.try and spend time with other friends in the meantime, shell come back to you in the end!
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