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41-50,
anonymous
writes:hello all, im new to this so not sure how it really goes but have been told the results you get bk are good,(sorry its long)Anyway its mainly about my brother hes 28 and he has a young daughter aged 4, hes had a really good gf who would do absulotly everything for him they where together for 9 months anyway the other week he split up with her and decided to go back to the mother of his child, the only problam is she treats him like crap and he can see it but wont do anything about it, he says he loves her and needs to be with her, but she really doesnt trust him, hes still in contact with is ex and i think they want to stay mates if the mother of his daughter will let them that is as she has never liked her for some strange reason, He even admited that he would give up everything like going out to be with her, but she says she wants to stay single, if she wanted to be single why did she keep texing him and ringing when he was with someone else, the truth is she doesnt want him but doesnt want anyone else to, Non of my family like her or family friends, he basically doesnt have anymates because of her, the other day my mum was in tears because of this and making her really depressed, he says she nos what she likes and never go back to her that was wedenedsday but thurs,fri he went down the pub with her, basically they are both single at the momment and im not sure if he really nows what to doThe mother of his child is really not a nice peice of work, is there any advice we could give him, we would really like it if he got back with the girl he lost because of her who hes still mates with, he does realise what hes lost with her. how can we make him see sence its like hes ablivous to it all
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female
reader, Blue_Angel0316  +, writes (2 November 2008):
 The fact is you are probably right! She is probably using his good nature and the fact that he loves her to her own advantage. You brother probably also feels guilt that he wasn't there with his chld, which could have prompted him to go back. Love is a matter of the heart but sometimes a person has to realise that you have to let go. You can encourage him by letting him know that you will support him as best you can no matter what he decides. The choice is his.
Let him know you love him and care about what happens but you are available to listen, Always. He needs friends and family for support. Reassure him that he can be a good Father even if he isn't in the home. From the sounds of it the ex is probably pulling strings and making him feel bad because he isn't there. He loves her, so he is drawn to that, she using that love to pull him down to her level. It's a controlling effort and it seems to be working!
The *great gal he was seeing has to make a choice to stand by and wait it out or move on. I would suggest being there but in the background. Permitting herself to do things she wants and likes as she has to be prepared to let go if he decides not to return to her. She can be his friend but she needs to put some distance between your brother and herself.
The idea of the child's Mother letting his other gal friend stays on the friends only list is most likely a non happening thing. She already demands his time, treats him badly, causing havic in his life and making his friendship diminish. She doesn't trust him and I am pretty sure she is jealous of his time and affection going toward anyone else.
She doens't like the other gal because she is a threat to the relationship. She can see they have something pretty special between them and she is JEALOUS! This means her control has been disheveled.
You Mom is concerned and loves her son. She is an older woman with more experience and knowledge and sees what is going on. She doesn't like what the child's Mom is doing to her son but is powerless to do anything about it.
When your brother takes the time away from this newer gal he is bound to realise that he was far better off there. After 9 months in a good relationshp your somewhat confused brother will soon recognise that what he is getting into isn't what he wants to be living in. Hopefully he will come to his senses and decide to love his child and himself enough to give up the Mother and go back to someone who really cares and LOVES HIM. From what you wrote I am pretty sure that the new gal would be a great friend, a better partner and a prospective new Mom for his child.
You and your Mom just have to do your best to stand by him(along with the girlfriend.) as best you can. Give him the time to see things from a different perspective. I pray that he will make the right choice. Wouldn't hurt for you and Mom with the girlfriend to Pray together for God's intervention here. He is listening. :)
God bless,
Blue_Angel
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