A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I'll try to keep to keep the background story as detailed but short as possible (which isnt gonna work haha). I am from the UK and my boyfriend is German, we're both in our early 20s, met abroad and everything was perfect. When the time came (6months into our relationship) for him to move back to Germany he asked me to come with him. One night before we went to Germany we were in a restaurant and after quite a few glasses of wine my boyfriend told me about his mother and that when he was younger she had said to him that in his life he would never need a girlfriend..she was his girlfriend/he was her boyfriend. With the choice of words, I was disgusted but too shocked to say anything. Anyway we moved to Germany around christmas time and his mother pretty much waged a war against me. Which leads me to his half sister (they share the same father, but different mother). She lives hours away and never really sees him much...but I later found out when she does visit, it's to aid his mother in breaking up his current relationship with a girl. My boyfriend well knows this and so he gave her (his half sister) a talking to before meeting me. Obviously this fell on deaf ears as from the first night on I witnessed what I can only describe as sexual flirtation directed at him and bullying by her and his mother directed at me. She would sit across a dinner table from him, staring at him the entire meal with seductive eyes and blowing him the odd kiss. He weight trains, she would go,pretend she cant lift the weight and with a fake breathless, high pitched baby voice say 'omg you are soooo big and strong' stroking his arm. We went to a club one night and she told me that her ideal/dream man would be the exact physical description of my boyfriend, all the time staring at him across the room as she spoke. Her Christmas gift to him was a pair of silk boxers with cartoon pictures of various sexual positions...oh and a box of condoms (as she told him not to get me pregnant!). His mother seems to encourage the sexual behaviour, telling his sister to wear short skirts around him (yea it was middle of winter..into the minus degrees!) Another night when we were out a couple of men were looking my direction and smiling over. Of course I was with my boyfriend and it didnt bother me or him...his mother though seemed to lose it, sniggering and goading his sister to stand up and pull her skirt up shorter so the men would look at her. It was disgusting!..anyway after this I had a major row with my boyfriend and he agreed its not normal, i'm the number 1 in his life and he would speak to her again etc. At this stage we were staying in an apartment and his half sister was staying at the family home.One week later she's sleeping in his bed and his mother is asking him to come back to the house and spend some nights with his sister before she goes home?! Well I told him you go back to the house....I go back to my home country. He never went back but of course when the time came for her to leave, he had to drop her off at the train station. She waited for my boyfriend to have his back turned and said sweetly in German (which she knew I couldnt speak too well at time) 'Warning....no s***t with him'. A couple of months passed, no contact from her. I felt like a complete idiot for not saying more at the time, maybe it was shock, maybe it was my love for him. I think my boyfriend, although he knows it's wrong seems to love the attention and she plays on that.Anyway, one night I blew! all the emotion and anger came out and I told him that as long as he is with me and as long as she continues acting sexually and treating him like a boyfriend- he has absolutely no contact with her. I don't know if that was unfair?...I love my boyfriend but I don't know if I can continue my life always feeling I am in competition with his own mother and sister through no fault of my own?
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female
reader, almc  +, writes (21 July 2010):
Wow! No don't think your wrong in saying that at all.. But that's nuts... I would move far far away. Lol well good luck to you :) keep me updated and let me know what you do :)
A
female
reader, Jesc  +, writes (21 July 2010):
 Wow... I agree with you.
I think you put up with it for to long.
Something is wrong with the women of his family.
You should just keep your foot down.
If he wants to see his mother and sister you should tell him stick up for us. Not just me but us. Maybe he will get it.
Just try to talk to him and stay strong.
You mean a lot to him for him to ask you to come to Germany, and he to you for leaving your home.
Let him know how you feel every time something like this happens.
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