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My boyfriend's ex is a real nuisance in our relationship

Tagged as: Dating, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 January 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 3 March 2008)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Okay i've been with my boyfriend for about 8 months, and everything is fine with us.

But, his ex whom he has a child with has always been nagging him, calling him all the time for the most retarded reasons. it is ovious that she just wants to talk to him. She always tells him she loves him and she misses him although she lives with a guy who she is now having a child with and is engaged to. I just don't understand why she wont leave him alone. Now she says she wants to buy a house in the same nieghborhood as us. I know they need to talk about thier child but she calls everyday sometimes many times in one day. It is really starting to bother me. what do i do?

View related questions: engaged, his ex

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2008):

Wow your situation is my situation exactly... word for word. She lives by us now and is living with her bf but she calls him all the time and its everyday... its really starting to make me question our relationship allot. its wearing on me emotionally. its so frustrating but they have a kid together. i dont know what to do - =|

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A female reader, shandygirl United States +, writes (15 January 2008):

shandygirl agony auntWhen 2 people have a child together, that means that they will always be in each others life forever.

I have been with men whom I had to deal with their ex's because of this reason. I got along with all of them. No Problem. Because, they knew their limits, and where they stood.

But, you have a "nut" on your hands. I feel for you.

If I were you, I would explain to your boyfriend that you understand his situation. And, you understand that she will always be in his life because of their child. But, it would be "fair" to you, if he would SET LIMITS to her. Examples:

1. Stop Calling so much. You are getting on my nerves. (haha)

2. Our "Love" relationship is over, MOVE ON.

3. Give me space, live in another neighborhood.

4. Accept for my relationship with my girlfriend.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2008):

I have almost the exact same problem, my partner has a child with his ex, they haven't been together in the six years since he was born and they don't get along. however if she phones and says "jump" my partner says how high. He says if he doesn't she will stop him seeing their son. Her and her husband also recently bought a house near his and then last night they had an arguement and split up. She called my partner at work he went and picked her up drove her where she wanted to go and said he felt bad for her. I have tried everything to get him to understand how this makes me feel, crying, leaving him alone for a few days, being nice to her and i've found that you just have to ignore it not matter how much it hurts, but just keep reminding your man why he chose you.

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