A
female
age
30-35,
*ikkisaveragelife
writes:I've been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now. I am 18 and he is 19, he recently moved in with his brother who is 25. So, I see a lot more of his brother than I already did. I've lately gotten the feeling that his brother is attracted to me. When I am there he follows me around, if I leave the room he follows shortly after, he also stares at me a lot, its not the way he looked at me normally before. I've caught him checking me out, and he's "accidently" walked in on me changing in my boyfriend's room, I don't believe it was an accident because I said I was going to change and after he walked in he didn't look the least bit suprised and just stood there and waited for a minute and then left, instead of immediatly walking out. I'm not sure if I should confront him, I am too petrified to say anything to my boyfriend or anybody. I don't want to risk upsetting my boyfriend and I also don't want or enjoy his brother gawking at me like a starving person stares at the last doughnut in the krispee kream box. I do not think I am being paranoid, and I really need to know how to deal with this situation. Does anybody have any insight or advice?
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female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (15 September 2010):
Hard one.
What I would do is this.
1. Ignore his behavior and try to be as off limits to him as you can. Wear turtlenecks in his presence when possible, keep your body language closed (crossed arms, etc.) and lock the door when you change (or put a chair in front of it or put a lock on it if you don't have one). Whenever he 'accidentally' bumps into you or walks in when he should not, glare at him with your deadliest glower. Start with saying "knock before you come in next time, it's proper etiquette."
2. If he keeps up his pervy behavior despite this, get more agressive. Avoid him without trying to be subtle about it. Also: "I said I was going to change with the intention of keeping everyone out of that room. Just like it's rude to open the bathroom door when someone is using the toilet, it's rude to walk in on a girl while she's undressing. Don't do it again."
Be very clear to him, so he's getting the message loud and clear. If nothing helps, confront him directly and tell him you do not like his behaviour and that if he loves his brother, he should stop.
After that you can tell your boyfriend, but I would try to solve it on my own first.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2010): Tell your boyfriend, not your boyfriends brother. If you value your relationship, you need to protect it from your boyfriend's brother, by letting your boyfriend know whats up and to tell him to tell his brother to stop. It could get bad if you don't nip it in the bud. His brother might try to start thinking of ways to break you two up for example... by making lies up and telling your brother that you did something that you didn't do. So if you love your relationship, PROTECT IT. There are many wolves out there just waiting to prey on a good thing that someone else has.
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A
female
reader, Tweety050 +, writes (14 September 2010):
Hi,first do you love your boyfriend?If so then just tell your boyfriend`s brother that.If he loves you then he will leave you alone.
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A
female
reader, Plexi  +, writes (14 September 2010):
 Your boyfriend's brother is showing no respect not only towards you but also towards his own blood! You should be off limits to him romantically, leading me to think that he is not interestewd in you romantically but sexually. His behaviour is a bit pervy and stalkerish. I would certainly not say anything to your bf because it will upset him for sure. What you can do is stay away from the pervy brother and if he follows you around again, turn around and ask him nicely...how can i help you Jimmy? or Bobby, whatever. If he doesn't get it then just tell him to get lost and tell him that he makes you feel uncomfortable.
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A
female
reader, Ka-raw-teh +, writes (14 September 2010):
 Maybe you should tell your boyfriend? you never know till you try? i don't see why he would be upset with anyone but his brother.
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