A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I met in a tertiary instituition. We've been together for a year plus, and currently in our final year awaiting graduation. Naturally, we have our own plans after graduation. I plan to work locally. However, my boyfriend gave me a shock by telling me he is considering to pursue a doctorate degree overseas for 7 years! :( He said he's only considering, not decided. Also, he was considering because of me. Yet, he seem reluctant to give up this consideration for the sake of our love. It was all so sudden, and it's heartbreaking to think that he actually have the thought of putting behind the life we have together to go overseas for such a long period of time. If I were in his shoes now, I wouldn't have the heart to leave because I love him too much! Does that mean he doesn't love me as much? Suddenly I feel like Number 2 in his life, being put after his studies. Although I have no right to stop him from pursuing his passion/career because that would be really selfish, but it also seem wrong for him to leave me for overseas studies just like that. I'm thinking a long distance relationship can't possibly work out for 7 years because things don't always turn out as what we planned it to be, especially with time. He may be able to commit now, but things may change if he meets a better girl over there. We may grow apart, and have separate insterests and topics by then. The chemistry may not be there anymore. There are just too many "what ifs" in a long distance relationship. But at the same time it's simply too painful to break up with him cuz I love him so much. :( So, if he were to decide to go overseas in the end, should I continue this relationship long distance or just move on? Please advise me! Thanks.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2011): Well, first of all, if you love him, I would only assume you'd support and wait for him. Even though it may be hard and whatnot.
But those "what ifs," if you or him move on with each other for being apart, what makes it that you guys will stay with each other even if you're together? It's the same thing, if you love someone, they are always there, perhaps not face-to-face but they are.
Maybe this is more you two need to think if you two are really meant for each other and if you truly love him enough to wait.
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