A
female
age
18-21,
SilentPerfection
writes:my boyfriend of 4 years decided he wants a break. i respect the fact that he wants it because i hear when other people take them the relationship is so much stronger in the end if they stay together. but its easier said then done. all i do is think about him. i am 22 he is 26. he never talks to me i always talk to him. the other day i sent him a text asking him why he cant make me understand and if he thinks being mean to me is going to make me end it he is wrong this is what he said "i am not being mean to make you want to end it. i say i need some space and you talk to me everyday. thats not making me want to stay with you" i sit here and tell myself everyday that things are going to work out...i understand i need to give him space and not talk to him...but i dont want him to forget everything we have had i am not worried about anyone else because he is not that type of person he said we might as well see if we are right for each other now before we move on to the next leave such as moving in or marriage...what should i do! i want to be with him so bad!
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a break, move on, text Reply to this Question |
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male
reader, deadokie21 +, writes (20 May 2008):
I can see Twist of Fate. Just doesnt like the idea of breaks. Im on a break but with my g/f. Its hard for me to. Just dont txt him, call him, or anything.. U never know what can happen.. He may come back to u when he is raedy.. or he will stay gone and not come back, but i think 1 month is good.. I just wish breaks wernt so long. As u do probably. But in the end who knows it maye be stronger.. Would be that u waited.. So do so it can be to your advantage :) Look at the bright side of everything.. Dont be negative u only feel worse and make urself depressed..
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2008): I am going through the SAME thing right now. I learned that I HAVE to stop talking to him. It just gives me false hope and makes me seem desparate.It is SO hard to do but you HAVE to do it--no text, email, calls, etc. Let him REALLY miss you and come back to YOU.Give it ONE month and then talk to him. You can't hold on forever.
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A
female
reader, Helpful Stranger  +, writes (15 May 2008):
 He doesn't sound like the sort of person that I would be willing to stay with, but you love him, and have loved him for the past 4 years, so it is difficult for you to leave him without any struggles to let go. One thing that you need to ask yourself is how long you are willing to stay with him for...
1 day?
1 week?
1 month?
1 year?
1 decade?
Forever?
The chances that you two will get married, produce a family, buy a house somewhere, and live a happy life are quite low, because, after four years, you would have expected one of you to come up with the whole "future" conversation, and he wouldn't be asking to break-up with you if he was planning to make you his wife.
I know that this comment isn't very inspiring, and probably not one bit helpful, but it comes to a time in everyone's life when they just have to accept things the way that they are, even if that means you having to leave the person you love, and have loved for a long time.
You never know, maybe after a month away from you, he may realise that he is still deeply in love with you, and those wedding bells might suddenly start chiming again (metaphorically speaking). Dreaming about things that you want to happen won't make them happen, and you just have to accept things the way that they come, like I said before.
I really hope that things work about between both of you. Keep me updated with what happens =)
x x x
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A
female
reader, uganut86 +, writes (15 May 2008):
 You just have to give him some space and time, my ex and I went through the same thing and now we are slowing trying to rebuild our relationship. Just hold on and be strong.
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