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My boyfriend values his dog over his own daughter

Tagged as: Big Questions, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 August 2015) 5 Answers - (Newest, 9 August 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hi sorry if this is long I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now we have a 9 month old daughter the problem is he spends hardly any time with her he finishes work around 4 comes to mine at 6, spends an hour at mine then he goes back to his flat while I give our daughter her tea and get her sorted for bed. then he comes back round to mine.

he is supposed to be giving his flat up and moving in properly which he has yet to do. he's decided we are never getting married or having any more children. another problem is he has a big dog which he treats better than me it also has to be in the middle of us on the settee we go out anywhere it has to be there also it makes a mess in the house with dog hair and paw prints on the floor which I'm expected to clean up as well as look after our daughter all day and have tea on the table for when he comes round.

I'm exhausted. what can I do? I just don't feel happy anymore. how do I change this? thank you

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2015):

i know someone who had a similar dilemma and the kennel in the garden was the solution.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2015):

I am sure this has already been asked, if not once but twice in fact, and received excellent replies from all the popular agony aunts. If you really are finding it hard to take advice on here and keep expecting different answers, I think you should find a therapist in the real world.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2015):

tell him that the dog is not welcome in the house.If he must bring it round he can get it a kennel for the yard where it can howl all night.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2015):

No I've never posted here before

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (7 August 2015):

Honeypie agony auntNow this seem like a familiar post.. have you posted about this before? If you have READ the previous advice given. If not... I apologize.

Why on Earth should YOU clean up after HIS dog? Why not put your foot down on that? You already have you hands full with a little one and a house to clean.

Is the dog at your place or his?

If it is at your place and he lives elsewhere I'd be mighty bothered by it.

I think you have a BF who isn't really committed to you. You take care ( If I read your post right) of his dog and daughter and he occasionally makes an appearance, but otherwise gets to have his own life away from the "family". He no longer wants to marry you and you are supposed to just sit there and accept all his decrees? Why are you still with him? It's not like he helps you with the baby...

I know having a child sometimes (most of the time) isn't planned... BUT when "life" happens totally out of order - you having a child before living together and before getting married... life CAN end up in a situation such as yours... DOESN'T mean you have to SUCK it up and stay with him.

If he is paying for your living expenses I think you need to find your independence again. Your daughter is old enough for day care and you can get back to work, so you can financially take care of you and your daughter, that way... you don't NEED him.

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