A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:When I was fifteen, I met an incredible guy. He helped me through a lot and understood me totally. When my family and we struggling he even helped us without being asked-and asked nothing in return. We were long distance for most of the relationship and only got to meet once. But it was nice and he never pressured me for sex. I was too young and honestly, looking back, I didn't understand true love. I was still a virgin when we broke up. We stayed in touch for birthdays and holidays. Eight years later now and he tells me he'll be in my city. I had dreamt of this a lot! But I just started dating someone and because of a former relationship, I'm no longer a virgin. I've changed so much. I'm excited to see him and hear about his life more but I'm nervous all the same. This guy I started dating is very nice, he reminded me of my ex. I'm scared that meeting my ex will intensify the puppy love feelings I had as a teen and throw my budding relationship off course. What should do?
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broke up, long distance, my ex, still a virgin Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2015): whatever you do make sure you dont become one of the disappeared because it brings heartache and sorrow to those left behind.He sounds charismatic and wealthy enough to help out your mum...very kind maybe..but some charismatic wealthy people are extremly calculating but this is something they totally mask until the point of no return..one earlier meeting is no indication of quality of character especially in an older guy..you see he has worked hard over a period of eight years to gain your trust and you already do trust him but as a canny person who has seen a lot of sorrow please dont become an internet victim ,even though he'd laugh me off..but you dont actually owe him anything ..you are quite free to not even show up..what if he's an older guy who just lied about his age..you dont really know much about him other than he has worked hard to gain your trust and make you feel indebted to him,hence he is above suspicion in his eyes but not in mine.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (7 August 2015):
 Does this "ex" knows you are in a relationship? Does your partner know that this ex has showed up and want to meet?
Why not invite him out to dinner, but BRING your bf?
If you don't think that is a good idea and you rather met him alone, then I think it's unwise.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2015): well as you were young and only met him once and were apparently underage then it is a potentially good sign that you remained a virgin but after keeping in touch for so long, rather like a benevolent uncle,then i would say he might be coming for payback time.He sounds rather like an internet connection so i would suggest you take your current boyfriend with you when you meet and introduce him as such,because now that you are in a more adult relationship you will have different priorities and dont want to feel your heartstrings are being twanged by someone who has effectively been out of your life a long time.You could do a bit of role reversal and hand him a large bunch of joyous flowers as a thankyou for his former kindness,but dont forget that you are not eternally indebted to him,you gave him friendship in return for kindness and he has no doubt moved along with his life if he is really wonderful and got married and had kids.He may even bring his wife along and introduce her to you whereupon you can all go for coffee or to an art gallery if you have an available time slot.He has no right to make you feel you owe him something although if you are financially flush you may wish to return his coupla hundred.Above all ,dont revert to an enamoured fifteen year old and tell your current boyfriend how much it would man to you if he could be there when you meet this long since forgotten internet friend. Above all dont discuss your sex life at the meeting as it is totally uncalled for..you have both moved on and it is unnecessary for you to reveal when ,how,or otherwise ,that you lost your viginity.Tread with caution and you may be able to heave a sigh of relief when he vanishes from your young life for the next ten years.Dont give mixed messages as it will only affect you both adversley in the long run..keep it clean,simple and keep some of your new life to yourself.
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