A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A month or so ago, my boyfriend (aged 18) of a year and I (aged 17) split up. He started at University this September, and because we were so far apart our attempt at long-distance didn't work. We were very much in love, and we'd made a promise that whatever happened when we split up, we'd still stay really close friends.That was fine for a while. Here's the problem, though - I am completely devastated by this break-up. I was, and I still am, in love with him. I can't even begin to imagine being with anybody else right now.But it's as though I'm carrying the misery for both of us; He's acting as though I never meant a thing to him, and I've started to believe that he really doesn't care about me at all. I can't understand how the hell he can have got over this so quickly - a year is a fairly long time for any teenage relationship, or so I thought, so why is it that I'm the only one who's hurting? We still talk, and usually we get on fine and we're very friendly, but I really feel like the situation isn't fair at all. I'm sick of being the only one who feels this terrible. Do boys usually seem this nonchalant after the longest relationship they've had so far? I thought he loved me while we were together, but can it really be that all along I meant this little to him?He's coming down to see me in a couple of weeks - for my birthday, which coincides with his end of term. This sounds really mean, but is there anything I can do to make him feel the way I'm feeling now?Thanks,xx
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female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (25 November 2007):
 He probably is hurt but he isnt showing it (most guys always seem to be empty of all emotion), now if you want to be really petty and make him hurt have a party to celebrate your birthday and flirt with every guy, but if not just act like your not hurt either just be you and be happy, there is someone better out there who will treat you like the princess you are.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2007): Don't try and hurt him - that just isn't fair.
I agree with the answer below, people deal with things differently.
Also, as hes gone to uni hes probably met a lot of new people, tried a lot of new activities. Hes problably been very busy, and being so makes you forget about the bad stuff thats happened.
And no boys aren't normally nonchalant - with my ex if anything if was the other way around, and I was a lot more cut up about things than she was at least showing externally.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2007): Why do you want him to feel as miserable as you are feeling if you love him? Don't try - you'll probably end up feeling worse yourself through guilt.OK. About him not seeming so upset - perhaps he is, put he's just good at keeping everything bottled up. People deal with different situations in different ways. You seem like a very loyal, sensitive person so it is natural for you to be upset about this for longer.Don't worry. Time is a healer - and things will get better in the future.Cheer up x x x
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