A
female
age
36-40,
*icky2000
writes:Should I give my ex-boyfriend of 7 years his space?I was with my boyfriend for nearly 7 years now. We moved in together a year ago and everything was great, we planned our future and spent all our time together. We have never had any problems in the past and have never considered splitting up. Then a month ago he told me that he doesn't feel the same way about me anymore and he needs his time and space to think about what he wants. I am absolutely devastated, he is my life I love him so much and I can't understand why he is doing this to me. Everything was going so well and it is the biggest slap in the face ever. He said he doesn't understand why he is feeling like this and when it started.Due to various circumstances I was unable to move out at the time, I can move out next week even though I really don't want to. I have been overly nice to him whilst we have still been living together and doing everything for him in the hope he might change his mind (stupid I know) and I think he is starting to take me for granted a bit, because he knows I would take him back instantly.What do you think I am best to do once I give him his space? Should I stop texting and calling him and give him the cold shoulder, treat him just as he as been treating me??? I just hope he realises what he has lost once I have gone. I just don't know what to do, I love him so much and I don't know want to lose him. Any advice would be much appreciated. Thanks
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female
reader, The Girl in the Green Scarf  +, writes (6 July 2009):
 I agree with all said but added to make the space easier for you make plans EVERY night whether it be a drink witht he girls or just a movie night at home have a PLAN. The time will fly by when your busy and it will really help you get strong again. Doing stuff for ourselves (us nice girls atleast) is something we totally forget about in a longterm relationship. We give up ourselves to give it all to our man when really they dont even want that from us they fell inlove with who we really are not who we try to be. Just find you again and no matter the outcome you will be okay:) Goodluck!
A
female
reader, AuntieMazzie +, writes (6 July 2009):
I totally agree with the answer already given, but am letting you know this so you are in no doubt. I have been through something similar and I got back with my boyfriend in about 2 weeks. Having said that, I think I should have been a bit harder to get back, but all is great now. He rang me after a week, and a couple of days later was asking me on a date. It brought all the excitement back into the relationship and it didnt take long for him to realise what he lost.
So good luck, you dont have to be mean just let him know youre fine without him and gettting on with your life.
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A
female
reader, Vicky2000 +, writes (6 July 2009):
Vicky2000 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your advice :) as hard as no contact will be I am going to do it! Being all nice and pestering him is clearly not working!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2009): i am sorry to hear this is happening to you, and i can understand how you are feeling. As you love him and do not want to lose him id suggest giving him the space he needs, no texts/calls etc... this may seem at first glance like you are cutting him out forever but, if you make yourself available and let him know that your still waiting around for him he will be in no rush to come chasing you.
By having no contact, you are giving him a chance to miss you, see just what he has let go, and once he realises he will come sniffing back. you have got to trust in the no contact rule, its the only way.
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