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female
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*oanna44
writes: guys and girls advice needed!there is this guy ive been with for a year and a half now on and off, i really love him and hes my first which makes it even more special i think but he keeps changing his mind about us all the time, he will break up with me for no good reason and then a few days later wana give it another go.ive forgiven him for alot he has cheated on me and done some horrible things but i just feel it could work. we arent together at the moment it ended yesterday.will it ever work or am i just seting myself up to get hurt?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2006): Ah, so tempted to be sarcastic... Must. Not. Do. It...
Okay, holding back my urge... As DrPsych has said, you should try to concentrate on yourself. You don't NEED him, unless you have a LOW SELF-ESTEEM, which it does look that way.
It's not that hard to leave him. It's actually HARDER to leave someone that is very good to you. Think about that... [sigh]
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female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (22 May 2006):
 I think you already know this isn't working out. It is ok to forgive someone once or twice, but if they know you will always forgive them no matter what they can really take advantage...and you let them take advantage. It is just about self respect at the end of the day. You should focus on trying to like yourself a bit more, and enjoy being independent and single - lots of people stay with a partner because they fear being lonely or no one to talk to. Partners are supposed to make you feel nice about yourself and relationships are supposed to be enjoyable. You just have to accept that you cannot change other people unless they want to be changed, and you cannot control what they do either. You can control what you do, however, and that means saying 'no thanks, I can do better' next time your ex comes around.
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