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My boyfriend keeps sexy pictures of his ex girlfriends!

Tagged as: The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 March 2012) 11 Answers - (Newest, 15 April 2012)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Should I be worried if my boyfriend keeps "sexy" pictures of his past ex girlfriends? When I say sexy, I mean breast and all...

Here's a little background info. I'm not so blessed with boobs but he reassured me that he likes me just the way I am because he has been with a DD before. He then showed me the pictures. Sexy pictures plus his other ex girlfriends. Some not so sexy but just the fact he still has them... I don't know.

Do I have the right to make him delete it? I feel uncomfortable and I just don't know why. Is it right for me to feel this way? I just want to add that I didnt go through his phone or anything like that, he's the one who showed it to me.

Thank you so much in advance!

View related questions: boobs, ex girlfriend, his ex

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you all for your responses! I will definitely think about everything you all have said. Just a 411 about the pictures. He told me that someone had hacked into his email deleting every single mail he had. That means no more of the pictures! No, it wasn't me so please don't think I did it. lol

But I'm actually glad that that happened! Now I can finally move on. Maybe it's a miracle? Who knows. I'm just glad that it happened. Yay!

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A female reader, Sweet-thing United Kingdom +, writes (13 April 2012):

Sweet-thing agony auntYeah, maybe when he's asleep you could slip out of bed and get rid of the pictures. Then put the phone back and walk away. If he ever misses the photos and asks about it, just deny, deny, deny. He may be suspicious but he won't know for sure. And if he really never looks at them he'll never know they're gone and you'll feel much better.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2012):

i agree, walk away. i have small b size boobs and my bf is always telling me i have an awesome set. , i know his last gf was a c, (i viewed her pics on fb) but my bf still compliments me on my small ones. he sounds live a jackass ur bf find a new guy sweetie.xx

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (30 March 2012):

Honeypie agony auntNo, you can't access and "accidentally" delete any pictures he has, unless they are of you.

You need to talk to the guy.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you all so very much for your thoughts and advices! I'm sorry I wasn't very clear on one thing. He does not have them saved on his phone but the pictures are saved on his email! He has access to his email from his iPhone that's why I said he has them on his phone. Oops! Okay, I have a question... Is it okay if I take his phone and look at the othe pictures and and delete them "accidentally"? He tells me that he doesn't look at the pictures... Sigh. Why can't everything just be so easy? Why is there always drama, baggage, etc involve.

I may stay single from now on. :/

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A female reader, Sweet-thing United Kingdom +, writes (30 March 2012):

Sweet-thing agony auntDepends on how long you two have been together and how serious your relationship is. If you've only been seeing each other a few months, no I'd say you probably have not yet earned the right to tell him to ditch the pictures. But you could simply tell him you'd like him to move them to a less accessible place, like burn them on a cd disc or store them on a special thumb drive and then tuck the disc or the thumbdrive into a special box and stick it in a drawer or something. At least you won't constantly be bumping into those photos when you're using the computer and you won't worry he's drooling over them when he's alone with his phone. However if you've been together for a year or more, you have the right tell him the delete the photos or better yet, delete them yourself. (Ooops, must've been a computer virus that destroys things on your hard drive) Just be prepared to never fess up to why they disappeared, should he ever miss them and ask. (Who me? I barely know how to turn a computer on, much less access any important files and delete them). And P.S. Empty the recycle bin as soon as you delete them! You don't want the evidence of your crime haunting you later. Good luck.

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A female reader, Sweet-thing United Kingdom +, writes (30 March 2012):

Sweet-thing agony auntDepends on how long you two have been together and how serious your relationship is. If you've only been seeing each other a few months, no I'd say you probably have not yet earned the right to tell him to ditch the pictures. But you could simply tell him you'd like him to move them to a less accessible place, like burn them on a cd disc or store them on a special thumb drive and then tuck the disc or the thumbdrive into a special box and stick it in a drawer or something. At least you won't constantly be bumping into those photos when you're using the computer and you won't worry he's drooling over them when he's alone with his phone. However if you've been together for a year or more, you have the right tell him the delete the photos or better yet, delete them yourself. (Ooops, must've been a computer virus that destroys things on your hard drive) Just be prepared to never fess up to why they disappeared, should he ever miss them and ask. (Who me? I barely know how to turn a computer on, much less access any important files and delete them). And P.S. Empty the recycle bin as soon as you delete them! You don't want the evidence of your crime haunting you later. Good luck.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (29 March 2012):

Honeypie agony auntYou didn't ask him why he kept them?

Having "sexy pics" of other women on his phone is just sleazy. I have no other word for it.

You have the "right" to ask him to delete them but I seriously doubt you can "make" him delete them, in fact the simple fact that he HAS them speaks volumes.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2012):

Did he actually use the term...been with a DD? If so that makes it sound as if he viewed the girl as nothing more than a pair of breasts! He sounds very immature and socially inept. What he is doing is vulgar.

You have every right to be offended by him. You might not feel that you deserve better but you do. At the very least, dont be tempted to let him take pictures of you because you dont know who he might end up showing them to! If I were you, I wouldnt bother asking him to remove the pictures, I would explain I found his actions offensive and walk away before he had time to do my self esteem any more damage.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2012):

well, at least he is not trying to hide the fact that he has them from you. i have several pictures of exs. that doesn't mean that i still want them either. they are on a thumb drive in my sock drawer, and i never look at them... i guess i just keep them around in case i am ever in need of some good jacking material.

so i wouldn't worry about them unless he is checking them out all the time, the pics i had on my phone i moved or deleted after about 4 or 5 months or being with my girlfriend that im with now.

also, don't be insecure about your chest. i used to mess with a girl that has dd's and a girl that had aa's (a.k.a. none, literally, flat!) and i think that girls with smaller chests are much sexier.. most girls i have dated have had b cups, and most of them have been on the smaller side of the b cup.. i and a lot of other guys find small chests very attractive!! so don't worry about it..

here is another thing to think about, does a guys penis size matter?? to some women yeah, to most, no, it doesn't.. same thing goes for breasts.. to some its important, but most don't really care..

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2012):

". . . he reassured me that he likes me just the way I am because he has been with a DD before."

That's not reassurance; that's condescending, arrogant, abhorrent, disgusting, disrespectful, demeaning, degrading behavior deliberately intended to torpedo your self-esteem while falsely self-puffing his ego.

"Do I have the right to make him delete it?"

Doesn't matter, he knows it makes you uncomfortable but he doesn't care because it gives him a weapon specifically intended to be used against you, which is exactly why he showed you his phone pix. That tells you all you need to know about him, and it's only going to get worse.

You do have the right to delete him from your life, and if you have any self-respect then you should do so immediately. If you allow him to talk his way out of this, then I'd have a difficult time mustering up any respect for you.

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