A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok. Here's my situation. I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. I'm 27 and he's 29. We both live at home. I work full time while saving money to purchase a condo. I have worked ever since I was 16 years old. My boyfriend on the other hand is not as ambitious. When I first met him he was taking me tl all these nice places and was just finishing paramedic school. He wants to become a firefighter. I found out aboy 3 months into our relationship that he was using his mothers credit card to pay for all our expensive dates. I didn't like that to much. Anyways its been this long and he's not motivated to get a job. I pay for everything which I don't think is fair. He has a fire test and ends up going to vegas for the weekend. His mother just gives him everything. The problem is I do love him but I'm so sick and tired of this. What do I do?
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female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (22 September 2008):
 Find someone else, k? My mom used to date bums too.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2008): Sounds like he is used to depending on other people to pay his way. Why would he change if he can keep riding the gravy train? You need to ask yourself what kind of future you think you can have with this guy- is that the future you want?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2008): By all means pay your fair share but no more. Unless his mother is loaded with money no object she'll start to wonder where all her cash is going. Unless she's really indulging him she'll resent having to pay for his lifestyle and yours too.
On the plus side - if she is absolutely loaded and doesn't mind splashing out on the two of you - and if you're mercenary enough - this could be your ticket to an easy life with no money worries! You'd be able to save up for that condo so much more quickly!
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A
female
reader, pepper27  +, writes (22 September 2008):
 Hi Hunny
You have a big problem because as long as his mum is giving him everything he needs then there will be no insentive or desire to work or try for even his dream job, He will have it in his head "oh I can try it another time no hurry"
If his mother stopped with the cash giving then he would have to do something to survive and would have to try harder but unfortunatly she has made a rod for his back with her help and maybe she just wants to make him happy...But you can stop paying for everything sweetheart, You wont want to carry this on forever love it will just get you down as your working hard to get somewere in life and he is having everything given on a plate and having the time of his life can you see yourself respecting this in the futour. Im not judging him or his mum love as its not his fault its what he is used to its taken for granted and bless his mum for helping him but she really is not and doesnt realise this maybe...I suggest you stop paying for everything and say its all going for savings and you are putting yourself a budget a month..There isnt much you can do about his mum hun thats the downside unless you talk about it with him, Ive a feeling though that he is so used to it, its going to be hard if not impossible to stop relying on her..YOU TAKE CARE HUN WITH LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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