A
female
age
30-35,
samantha1978
writes:my boyfriend of 8 months is planning on going to uni in the states early next year.he wants me to wait but i dont know if i want to.not coz i dont want to be with him but i dont trust him as he was in a relationship when we met and when he goes over to the states he will be bk in contact with her again.he also says if he gets offered the 'perfect' job he wont come home but will want me to move over there with him. i have 3 children. i dont know what to do coz i love him. plz help x Reply to this Question |
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female
reader, lotus mama808  +, writes (28 August 2008):
 This is the problem with getting into a relationship under sticky circumstances, as I'm sure you have already figured out;) Do you have children with him, or a previous relationship? The only thing you really can do is talk to him about it. Not in the heat of an argument, but with the energy of, "hey, I'm worried and I don't want to lose you". Ask him if he is serious enough with you that he would be faithful and come back for you when it is possible. Tell him why you have these concerns. It is better to tackle a faithfulness issue before it becomes an awful reality. Have you considered going with him, possibly relocating your family? Maybe bring that up to him. I'm guessing relocating is not much of an option for you, I too, have kids, and understand how difficult it is to change their reality. However, it might be something you could just consider, and see his eaction to the idea. Obviously, if he gets a little bent out of shape over it, then he might have an alternative motive when he moves. Keep a look out for the signs, and open up lines of communication. I hope faithfulness can be restored in your relationship eventually, and the pair of you can continue to make eachother happy. Good luck!
A
female
reader, Crierwy +, writes (28 August 2008):
 He isn't gone yet, and you can't stop him from doing whatever it is he intends to do. Jealousy is a mark of insecurity and that's unattractive. Your continued suspicions and worry will drive him away from you and into another woman's arms regardless of whether or not that is his current intention. It takes great personal strength and hard work to raise three children as a single parent. Your boyfriend saw that strength in you and I'm sure many other great qualities too. Remind yourself of who you are and all that he'll be missing when he's away. Enjoy the time you have together. Be confident in yourself. If he can no longer see what a great person you are, then be happy that you are finding out now and move on.
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