My boyfriend is a pack-rat...Help !!

A female age 51-59, *ammyg2 writes:

Hi I hope you can give me some good advise on this, I have been going out with my boyfriend for 2 years now and recently I have moved with him to a 2 bedroom flat in Chafford Hundred, I lived with him previously in hornchuch in a one bedroom which was very nice, but his problem is he is a hoarder and rarely throws things away, he had a flat on his own before that and he had stuff all over in, he had newspapers that he just put to one side so they piled high, and when you went to his bedroom his bed was literally in the middle of mounds of black bags which contained toys, dvds, old laptops etc that he has never bothered to throw away, and whenever I went there I had to step over all this stuff just to get to bed, and his kitchen was a mess papers everywhere, you certainly couldn't cook anything decent in there, Now he got rid of a lot of this stuff with the help of his dad, as this upset me so much I would end up in tears,so I stayed round my mothers while this was going on and he moved to Hornchurch, so he had to hire a big skip and getting rid of it I can tell you for all concerned was literally a nightmare, anyway when he moved I eventually moved in with him, which was lovely and I was happy then, little did I know that a massive amount of his stuff he took with him and put it in the attic that we had, this all came to light as we had to move again to Chafford, I ended up going back to my mothers as I just couldn't stand this and was unhappy about it breaking down in tears, but he however upset I got would not throw it out, so he hire a man and a van and his dad helped him again move this all to the new flat and because it was a two bedroom he just dumped all of his rubbish i.e black bags of toys, laptops, a rowing machine etc in this room and claimed it as HIS room and wouldn't let me look in there as it upset me to much, I must admit its partly me fault as I have been putting up with it all this time but it has upset me so much and I am just so unhappy with this situation that I have moved back to my mothers and gave him an ultimimatum he either clears that room and gets rid of the rest of his rubbish in 2-3 months or I don't want to know anymore I have had enough, I have been so stupid as I have literally furnished our flat, kingsize bed, chest of drawers etc, so he's laughing as he has got an already furnished flat, he is a bit on the lazy side and has never made any attempt to get clear this room of rubbish for me even though he has had offers of help from me and another man which you would think he would take as he knows perfectly well its really is upsetting me and has seen me in tears so many times, he says he loves me but I don't belive this as he isn't doing anything to better the situation.

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A female reader, supermum  +, writes (23 November 2008):

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A female reader, supermum  +, writes (2 November 2008):

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