A
female
age
41-50,
*oriegirl
writes:My boyfriend is so good to me, He shows he cares, and loves me so much. I met him online and we have been together for 7 months now. My love life is great, not to mention the sex! I have never in my life met anyone as wonderful as him. And he tells me the same. We live 4 hours apart but we see eachother every other weekend, either he comes to my place or I go to his for the weekend. I truly feel that something wonderful will result from our relationship. I am divorced, and so is he. He has had a really really rough past and grew up with out his parents because his dad sexually abused him as a child. His dad went to jail, for years he later then died. So he basically grew up in foster homes until he was 18 and later in the streets with his homies. He never cared for his parents after that. Now at 34 he has straightened up his life decided to go back to school, he is a very hard worker, he is very intelligent, he doesnt drink, or smoke, and he is very humble and honest. I can go on and on. But as a result of his past he has alot of thigs he has to deal with now.... he has 5 kids with 5 different women. He loves his kids, He wants the best for them and he would die for them. He has full custody of 2 of them. So he is a mom, a dad, a housewife, a lover, and a nurse! He is very family oriented. I really dont like to talk to people about him because they dont understand his situation and misjudge him and our relationship. What should I do???? I really want everyone to know we love eachother and he really aint what they think he is.
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female
reader, StaceyMarie  +, writes (26 October 2007):
 You dont have to prove yourself to anyone.
If you and your partner are in love and your happy then that should be enough for your friends.
They should be glad that you have found someone who treats you well and has managed to turn his life into something good.
He may have had a rough past but they must learn to accept that you are his present and possibly his future.
I always say "look forward not back" and with time your friends will learn to do the same.
Take Care x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2007): You shouldnt need to convince them. If this guy is good to you and you are happy then surely thats all that matters.
It sounds to me like your partner over compensates with you and his children to make up for the past that he has had. He shows how much he loves you all because it was something he was never shown and he feels that it is important to make sure that you all know what you mean to him. Im sure there are times when he still hurts and you will be there to provide support for him. My point is that if your friends see the way he is each day, leading his normal life, then surely eventually they will see that this man has turned his life around and offers nothing but love and stablility. I wish you all a happy future. x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2007): I think you can't *make* your friends approve of him. I think you should really just continue as it is. If your relationship is strong, over time, his efforts will show through you, and when that time comes, your friends will probably start to accept him more.
There will always be people that will be skeptical, because of his past. Some will form their own opinions, regardless of your feelings, because your feelings are 'secondary' to what they may think is the 'truth'. Only way to really prove them wrong, is the effort and the continued growth between you and your lover, over time.
As with trust and understanding, it can only happen over time.
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