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anonymous
writes: I was in a relationship for about a year and 2 months and my boyfriend and I were to be married in June. During this relationship he moved in with me and in mid September 2004 I noticed my boyfriend was in a depression, moody, anxious and somewhat panicky and over time he grew distant and cold with me. I would try to figure out what was wrong but he said he to leave him alone that it would pass. He also was suspicious of people and their motives and would not trust anyone. One day we were at a diner eating breakfast and he ordered a small juice that comes with the breakfast and when he went to drink it it tasted awful and he had to spit it out. He became suspicious of the workers at the diner and thought that maybe they had spit in the juice or even put something in the juice on purpose. On another occassion he accussed my daughter who is 19 years old of putting clorox or some type of liquid in his contact lens case. He would talk suspicious about his own family members and co-workers and how they were being malicious. He also did not want to socialize much and would not really want to do any outdoorsy type of stuff especially last winter. Once in a while we would get into little tiffs that I felt were weren't really big because I felt all couples argue and they kiss and make up. These little tiffs as I call them to him were hostile and confrontational and every time I would try to make up with him he remained cold and distant for days and wouldn't make up. To make a long story short, recently my boyfriend broke up with me in May (last 2 weeks) and now he wants absolutely nothing to do with me. He'd pick on my every mistake and even bring up past issues, he says he does not love me, that he is emotionally numb, closed up towards me and will not ever consider coming back to me. Mind you, I was always was at home tending to his every need and his kids (2 daughters) never was unfaithful, we never yelled or cursed at each other and never hit each other. He says that the reason for the breakup was because that I had a hot temper which I was not at all. I said all couples argue and in a relationship you never see eye to eye, your gonna have disagreements. I saw him on Saturday (June 23) and I tried to talk to him but he did not want to. He reacted really nervous and anxious around me even saying that he gets so nervous around me and he does not know why, he even got to the point of saying that he felt like getting out of his car and hitting someone. This baffled me and I came to the conclusion that there could be something psychologically wrong. Do you think there could be?
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reader, becky05 +, writes (26 July 2005):
There is definately something psychologically wrong with this man.
I dont believe that you were to 'blame' in any way for your break up.
If you can talk to your ex, suggest he sees a doctor about the way he is feeling. It sounds to me like he has serious depression and anxiety and he would benefit from medical help.
A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (25 July 2005):
 Yes, I do think there could be a pyschological problem. I'm not a medical practitioner, but I have 7 years of first-hand experience living with an undiagnosed schizophrenic, and your boyfriend is displaying all the same symptoms of my ex-husband.
Contrary to popular image, schizophrenics are not "split-personailities". In fact, the most obvious trait that they display is fear of almost everyone and everything. That fear causes them to avoid people, blame people, worry about people plotting against them, and alienate their loved ones. They also tend to remember situations that you wouldn't remember, because you can't see what the schizophrenic believes is "hard evidence" of a conspiracy against them.
Is this sounding familiar?
For the time being, I'd suggest doing a little research on the disorder, so you can be supportive of him (if you want), or make an informed decision about what to do next.
Try this website, for a place to start:
http://www.psyweb.com/Mdisord/jsp/schid.jsp
And this one:
http://familydoctor.org/266.xml
Good luck.
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