A
female
age
36-40,
*iza
writes:my boyfriend doesn't like me getting attention from people especially guys because my brother is a famous football player...and some of the guys who idolise my brother asked me for an autograph..help i know hes jealous he told me himself but hes jealous of me all the time..that it's just tearing our relationship apart..i dont know what to do
View related questions:
jealous, player Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (9 May 2007):
 You need to stop this before it goes any further. This is the beginning of a controlling relationship. You must realize that if you give in to his weakness, he'll begin to see it as justification of his fears. He'll demand it and get angry when he doesn't get it. It's like an addiction, he needs you to give in to his demands to reassure him of your fidelity. It's a no win situation.
Next you won't be allowed to here or there, talk to so and so, turn off your cell phone, go out with the girls etc. What he's telling you is this, he'd rather keep you under his thumb, for you own good. Why, because you can't be trusted to do the right thing. As long as you give in to his demands, you'll pay the price for a crime you have not committed. You will begin to resent him and harbor bad feelings toward him. This is quite common.
Think about it, someone asks you for an autograph.....so what. What does that mean about your love for your boyfriend? Nothing !! He feels that by you living your life and being out in the world he may lose you. Sure, it's nice to know somebody loves you so much that they're afraid to lose you. But, if you have no bad intentions and the only way to assure himself that you'll be loyal to him is to keep you on a short leash, is that love? It's control........If you love someone, you want to see then grow, not be limited, based on his fears.
Hears a scenario......he tells you can't drive a car because there's too many crazy drivers on the road, you might get in an accident. You live in the country and there is no public transit. Don't worry though, he'll take you where you need to go. It's unrealistic. He might be concerned about you getting in an accident but stopping you from driving is an extreme measure.
In closing, you don't have to limit yourself to his demands,based on his poor judgment of your character. He's telling you that the temptations out in the world will cause you to stray. That's not true, if you're the loyal type.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2007): well if i was in your position i would explain to him that it isnt your thought your brother is a famous football player.tell your partner that you love him and you want to be with him,let him know your not looking for anyone else as i can see your partner is very jealous.Maybe you should to tell your boyfriend that you think it is best you go on a break so he can sort out his jealousy problems. makesuse you write back to me to tell me what happened good luck
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2007): he should take it as a compliment you are attractive and well liked.If he trusts your devotion to him he shouldnt have an issue.Not your fault guys either fancy you, or because your bro famous.He will lose you anyway if he carries on - tell him.I personally doubt it will help as most jealous types dont change - its in his nature unfortunately.
...............................
A
female
reader, aunty jane  +, writes (9 May 2007):
 not many males would admit that they are jealous but face it we all are really.... maybe his is not so much jealousy but insecurity
you will have to try really hard to reassure him that it is him that you want and no one else
explain to him that you love him and wouldnt be with him if you wanted someone else
explain how hes making you feel becuse if you dont talk to him then it will ruin your relationship
he needs to talk to someone about his own insecurities
maybe he could get in on the action by organizing to get autographs with you? keep him involved and hopefully he wont feel so insecure
...............................
|
