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My boyfriend and I are thinking of having a non monogamous relationship

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Question - (31 March 2015) 2 Answers - (Newest, 31 March 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend and I are thinking of having a non monogamous relationship. We have not yet figured the ins and outs of it yet but I'm not here to ask about that. I realise that most people here are not into the idea or sharing the marital bed so to speak... so if any of you have any swinger or non monogamy experience please speak up!!

I would like to know what your opinions are of something he said. He told me that he doesn't want to ever have a MMF threesome. That he does not see the appeal for himself. That's fine I understand that. But he did say that if I ever wanted one with two other guys that he wouldn't mind.

I inferred from this that he didn't care what I did. But he insisted that it's not at all that he doesn't care... but that he is secure in our relationship and if I wanted to experience this fun thing, then he just wouldn't mind. He wants me to have fun too.

He also said if we ever did swing he wasn't sure how he'd feel about seeing me with another man. That separate room swapping would be his preference but again.. no experience yet so don't know! I just thought; out of sight out of mind.

My boyfriend doesn't attach any emotional connection to sex at all. Neither do I, my emotions are rooted in affections and intimacy.

Can you tell me are his thoughts the way a swinger would normally think of such things?


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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (31 March 2015):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntGood idea. Of course, you and he are going to have to figure out all sorts of details.... like WHO is going to do WHAT, with WHOM? ..... and WHERE????? ... and WHEN ... and WHY???? .. and HOW?

(I won't pester you with such details as: HOW do you react if one of the ladies shows up pregnant? ... or, if one (or, more) couples ends up with an STD...)

I wish I were young again, so that I could try this.....

Good luck...

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (31 March 2015):

So_Very_Confused agony auntfor me watching my now ex husband (we were dating then married) was part of my fun...

He sounds very secure and if he's not into MFM but is fine with you doing it, then by all means have at it.

You may find that once you add that to your mix he can't cope.

what broke up my last marriage was my now ex husband being fine with him having girls on the side or playing with me and others guys at parties but once i added a boy toy to the mix just for me he was not happy.

I no longer share.

he left me

I married the boy toy.

Every swinging couple is different.

Every couple has different rules

Only soft swap is one rule

NO kissing is another

no separate rooms is another

only separate rooms is another.

each couple has to work out what works for them.

check out the SLS website. I can't google it here at work but it's single life style or something like that.

best of luck to you...

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