A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes: Help,Iam falling for one of the male managers at my work. I dont know if he feels the same way but its possible. I dont want to ever do anything about it and risk either one of our jobs but its now getting to the point where I would give up my job any day to be with him. The fact that he is an authority figure at work makes it hard enough but I really dont know how he feels about me. I think he might flirt with me. He is always staring,smiling, and winking. He constantly is teasing, making jokes, and doing stupid stuff to try and make me laugh. He has cute and funny nicknames he calls me. Sometimes he will even get a little personal with me and ask me questions about my life outside of work. Sometimes he will even give me compliments, sometimes on my appearance. I know he is single and it seems to me like he might be flirting with me but i could be just imagining it because it is what i want to happen. I couldnt help falling for him. He is the most perfect man Ive ever known. He seems nicer and friendlier and a little more flirty to me than to anyone else. What do you all think? Does it sound like he flirts with me? Is it possible he could have some feelings for me? What can I do about these strong feelings I keep inside? Please help, I think Im falling in love and cant do anything about it.
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at work, flirt, teasing Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2008): yes, he likes you. I am a boss and what you described I am going through the same thing. The problem is that he can not make the first move because he is not 100% as sure if you will go for it.
A
female
reader, jenna34 +, writes (26 February 2008):
He may like you but sometimes guys like to see how far they can get you to like them! Then when you do, they lose interest. I don't think you should do it but i think you like him too much, you will do it anyway so be smart
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (26 February 2008):
 Hi,
all I can say is office affairs between a manager and a subordinate invariably end in disaster.
there is the office jealousy to start with, people think you will now get special attention as you are dating..etc etc. the list goes on.
As for leaving your job, be serious here, you might start going out and split up within a few weeks then where are you, single and out of a job.
I suggest you do nothing for now, if you two really have a connection then it will build over time and you won't be able to avoid each other. But you have to accept that he may just be flirting innocently with the cute girl at work and may not want to take it any further. You will know in time anyhoo.
good luck.
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister + ♥, writes (26 February 2008):
 Just so you know, it is not his job that will be at risk. Even though you are willing to risk yours and that seems very romantic to you, it is not a quality most men will find attractive. They may like the fact you are willing to give up so much for them initially (because it boosts their egos), they will not respect you for it later.
He is also not perfect. I do think he is flirting with you on some level but it's hard to tell without some solid examples and without an idea of how long this has been going on. It will be the progression of the flirting that will let you know how interested he is, not the consistency, because you are responding to him. I definitely wouldn't be assertive, he is your boss,and if you are wrong it could make it a very uncomfortable place for you to work. You are young, you aren't too concerned about losing your job(I hope you don't have kids), and as long as you are okay with being fired or having to quit when the relationship ends or gets discovered...I don't see why you can't pursue it. It may be a valuable lesson for you to learn now before you do this in your career. Have fun!
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