A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone I really hope you can help.I have been seeing a guy from work for a few months, we get on great and I really enjoy spending time with him but it has been fairly casual as he is moving away in a few weeks for a new job. I have hinted at him that I am willing to try a long distance relationship but he is not interested. Many times I have felt like ending it but as it is so casual I just sort of went with the flow.Then a few weeks ago I was out with my friends and I met a nice guy, we just chatted but we clicked straight away. He got my number from a mutual friend and text me a few days later asking me out. I explained the situation and he said its not a problem, that he will wait. Then tonight he asked me out for a drink, I said no but agreed to meet him during the week. Now I feel really bad!!The guy Im seeing is lovely, but he doesnt want anything long distance although he said he hopes I visit and said he will definitely come back to visit me.Should I meet the other guy and explain this to him or is that too serious of a conversation to put on him on our first 'date'. I feel sooooo bad about this but Im not getting any younger and dont want to miss a chance of happiness.
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male
reader, duce00  +, writes (8 September 2007):
 Your situation isnt really complicated. It may not be easy but it IS simple.
You shouldnr be dating somebody new until your out of the last relationship. I know everything is "casual" right now but you need to treat these guys the way YOU would want to be treated. Wouldnt you rather it if the guy you have been seeing told you that he felt like seeing somebody else and that if it meant the end for you two then he respected your decision? Wouldnt that feel better than just getting a call one day that you guys were over cause he met somebody new?
Its really not all that hard to show people respect. All you have to do is imagine how you would feel in theyre shoes. If it makes you cringe then its not being respectful.
Good luck,
Duce
A
female
reader, shoe_lover  +, writes (8 September 2007):
 i shall start with the positives , long distance realtionships do work , but some times its nice to have some once close to you , maybe you should ask the guy you are seeing , if it wants you or not thats what it boils down to the end of the day , you should also tell the other guy the situation be honest even thought its not a nice first day thing to say , you should follow your heart , but do the right thing , i hope i helped this is my first one =)
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