A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:It wasn't obvious when we got married, but over the years her attitudes have become more and more racist and bigoted, which I find surprising in such an educated woman. I try to bring up my children to respect all people, but it isn't easy when my wife spouts her quite hateful opinions in front of them.She was quite taken aback when I told her that my family on my father's side were Gypsies, and she accused me of marrying her under false pretences, but at the time it never really struck me as an issue. And when I told her that two of my cousins are gay, she was really gobsmacked. Now she's worried that my "poor genetic material" may have an impact on our children (as if there is some rogue pink gene tghat will turn them into wedding planners!). This is a woman with an Ma. in history and modern languages - how can she be so ignorant? She gets shocked by everything - that I had a black girlfriend as a teenager, that my brother married an Asian.Is there any hope of such a person changing for the better? We are well into middle age now, so this isn't just some sort of teenage craziness on her part.
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female
reader, Starlights +, writes (23 June 2009):
 will she change?
probably not, especially as she has advanced in age, but i guess there is hope for everyone.
her hatred stems from fear and jealousy.
If you have told her not to talk in such a way infront of you and she doesnt respect it you have 2 choices:
either to walk away from a bigoted wife
or
choose to ignore her faults and put up with her the way she is.
She needs to open her eyes. some questions you might want to ask her;
-has she heard who the president of the united states is?
-does she know what colour (scientifically proven) the first man on the planet (adam) was?
-does she know where the term "the real McCoy" & who it sprang from?
-beyonce knowles, ar rahman, tiger woods, the jacksons, jesse jackson,
(need i go on here!)
do their genetic makeup up look "poor" to you??? thats what u need to ask your wife!
she may be educated, but that is nothing.
The true intellectuals are those with experience, wisdom and non hatred!
good luck!
A
male
reader, Beingblack +, writes (23 June 2009):
 I guess my name gives the game away a little .... but there is always hope for everyone. My partner is white, in England some people tolerate this, a lot do not. My partner's older brother seems to be moving along the same lines, so much so that I do not socilaise with him in any way.He used to be okay, but over the last ten years or so, he has got worse. He is myabe 15 years older than me, but my opinion is that as he gets older, and more afraid of the way society changes, he is blaming the most obvious suspects, i.e. those who LOOK different. So blacks, asians, eastern europeans, africans, and even young guys who happen to wear 'hooded' clothing get the blame for all of his woes. Maybe your wife is doing something similar, and blaming obvious targets for her perceived wrongs. The only way to beat this is to rise above it, and show that no matter what your skin colour or background, you are equal in every way as humans. Besides, with an Ma in history, she should know that genetic coding tells us that all of mankind originated in East Africa. The caucasian gene is only here due to outward migration and an ice age 25,000 years ago. So we really are one, aren't we.
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A
female
reader, Dee206-7  +, writes (23 June 2009):
 I am a young woman of color and unfortunately I have seen quite a bit of racism in my days. Personally, I would genuinely be afraid of being in the same house hold with a person like that, especially if this woman is now looking at you through those racist lenses that she looks at others with. If she wants a divorce please don't stop her. This is not someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. I strongly suggest that you get involved with a really good, strong church community and get active in a church along with your children. Because when (because it will happen) this woman decides to leave you, you want as much support as you can get, and prayer, trust me your going to need it.
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